Hi guys, so I don’t usually message friends unless it’s for something important or to arrange an in person meetup but lately, I found that many of my friends actually message each other and are so in touch with each other’s lives.
I feel like I’m not as close to them when compared to other people even if we have known each other for a longer period of time. How can I change this? Especially for friends who have drifted or whom I haven’t seen/messaged for a long time?
How can I be a better conversationalist and less boring so that people will actually want to talk back to me? I want to message but I don’t want to sound formal about it because everyone else I know has a very carefree conversation style and I don’t know how to embody/approach this way of speaking both in text and in person. How do I become a fun person who doesn’t overstep boundaries. What kind of jokes are appropriate for everyone? How can I be more witty and attract other people to feel at ease when they talk to me?
I asked an old friend what their opinion of me was and they said they were scared to talk to me when I’m reality I just want to connect with people. Nowadays I tend to approach other people to strike up a conversation but I still struggle to make it engaging, it feels like a casual job interview where I ask the other person questions, feelings and opinions and we discuss them at surface level. How can I connect on a deeper level to better understand them?
I would really appreciate some ideas on this situation if you have any suggestions, thank you in advance. I really want to know what I’m missing.