Flight home was cancelled today with no available flights until 12/28. We’ve known this was a possibility for months before booking the trip. We grabbed a hotel and started looking for options to get home, but it is what it is right? Fast forward several hours and she notifies me we’re going to L.A. tomorrow (Christmas Eve). Flight cost almost $5000 plus I gotta dish out the remainder for a rental and drive 18+ hours back to Seattle. If all goes well, I’m home Christmas night.
I’m frustrated. No conversation, it’s a lot of money, and we’re still missing Christmas. She said “but it’s 75 degrees in L.A.” I’m not sure how to deal with this with her. I’m trying to keep it cool so as not to make a bad situation worse, but I’m concerned with how this went down without even a discussion.
24 comments
well considering its not you who spent 5k, and this is only a problem for a few days, trying to make her feel bad about it isnt going to help you or solve anything.
I don’t think I could live with someone who spunks $5k of our money without even asking me. Not sure what to suggest as a solution.
You need to communicate to her that you are not happy how everything was handled. You were both in the situation, and you should both make the decision how to go about getting home.
Aren’t flights out of Seattle still totally backed up?
Can you cancel the flights? I would, and I’d block her access to the money right now. 🤷
You’re right to be concerned. She made a poorly informed decision that cost a lot of money but still didn’t solve the problem.
Problem solving during high stakes situations is a foundation to a healthy relationship.
Things here in Seattle are a mess. We got 1/4 inch of ice on everything from Portland to Canada. Things are melting slowly, but the passes are going to be a mess. Don’t rush coming back because it’s just going to add to your headache.
Try to solve one problem at a time and get home safe.
Her brain froze?
I would call the airline and try to cancel ASAP.
It’d be way better to spend xmas in NYC and go for Chinese on the 25th. It’s all going to be less expensive and more relaxing than what she is proposing, which is nuts.
Proper bang out of order. Marriage is team work through good times and BAD.
This would be a major đźš© to me for sure brother.
This is insanity, a serious conversation needs to happen immediately. Also can you cancel the flights for a refund??? I know you can cancel writhing 24hours, regardless what kind of ticket you bought (i.e. non-refundable) but sometimes it can’t happen if it’s close to your travel dates. Even if it wasn’t an outrageous amount of money, you couldn’t get a flight into literally any of the other bajillion airports in CA that would be WAAAYYYY closer then LA? Driving that far will be a nightmare and very likely will have to stop at a hotel somewhere and sleep. Or if you are able to push through you might “make it home for Christmas” but you be so busted it will be awful anyway. Why don’t you just enjoy New York for Christmas and fly home when there isn’t a bomb cyclone effing up every airport across the country?!!
If there’s no hope of changing the tickets, I’d wait until you’re back home and well-rested before having the discussion. She might even realize how bad she fucked up if she has some time to reflect.
If there’s a chance of getting your money back now, then you have to say something sooner. It’s just not a conversation that will go well when you’re both stressed, tired, and cranky, so I’d wait if possible.
Grit your teeth til you get home. After the dust has settled, tell her that the two of you need to come to an agreement about large expenditures. Anything over a set dollar amount has to be discussed in advance. Not doing so means the individual spending the money is entirely responsible for paying the bill. I wouldn’t necessarily mention the flight to LA. If you two are not on the same page financially, your relationship could be in serious trouble.
So if she has her own income, then she repays the $5,000 + that she spent of your/joint money.
If she doesn’t have her own income, then you remove her access to your money until she has proven herself able to be fiscally responsible.
Feel free to adjust the amount to what was overspent based on how you would prefer to get from NYC to home, but the premise is the same, she spent money that wasn’t hers without consulting with you, and needs to be held accountable for it.
Now if she spent her own money on this weird dogleg to get home, then don’t put anything towards it.
dude, for 5k, i can take a vacation in Taiwan, twice.
You could have had an amazing Christmas in NYC for less than that. Why not do that? Maybe she thought that you guys wanted to get back for Xmas no matter what? I don’t think this is divorce worthy but I would refund the tickets and sit tight. Wherever you go it’s gonna be a hassle till at least mid week next week. Then you can work on your communication issues
I live in the Boston area. That’s like booking a flight to Buffalo and saying we’re close enough.
Is there a better option available that you would have preferred?
Why didn’t you immediately cancel the flight?
I don’t understand either of you. It’s been 100% known for days that you would be impacted by the boom cyclone. My friend from Seattle was posting photos of the awful weather 3 days ago.
The entire continental US is affected so there was no way you were going to find an affordable option. Why did you spend hours searching since it should’ve been clear that anything you found was going to be in thousands?
Cancel the flight.
Well on one hand, it’s a lot of money, but on the other hand, apparently your household can drop $5k at a moment’s notice and not be too horribly affected by it.
Get home on Christmas and be with your family…well, except for your wife, because it wasn’t clear if she’s staying in LA or not while you drive on back home.
You have an 18+ hour car drive to explain to her how she should never do that without discussing it in advance again.
I know it’s not your home, but NYC for Xmas is not exactly devoid of fun things to do. Get a refund, drop $2000 on a nice hotel, and go out for some amazing food and do some Christmasy things like look at the store windows. Good lord.
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One-way rentals are expensssssssive. I wouldn’t be surprised if it costs you $500 just for the car alone this time of year.
Hopefully you will be flying first class *and* get to keep the seats.