So me 32m and my ex girlfriend 25f broke up around about a month ago. A week after the breakup she told me she was pregnant and has shows me scans and tests etc. I suspect she has quiet bpd and she broke up with me over text after I got back home from meeting her at her place. Everything was legitimately good the one day and running up to the break, no suspicious signs at all until one of that days after we hung out she got extremely drunk with her friend on a night out and started adding dudes on Instagram. I do think this is manipulative behaviour from her bpd and I genuinely don’t think she might have done anything but I can’t be certain. She does wierd things in social media to get my attention in general like blocking unblocking changing profile pics etc.I called her out on this the next day and it went down hill form there.
Now I know everyone is going to say paternity test and yes I will be getting one for sure.
Thing is we were trying for a baby and when we were trying, the ovulation window lines up and everything. Like approx 2 weeks after period we were having sex and 2 weeks later she broke up. Then found out she was pregnant after.
Now she has told me she doesn’t want to be with me but when the topic of me seeing other people comes up she doesn’t sound convinced she’d be ok with it. Initially she said she wanted to see if we could work things out but she’s backtracking slowly. The main thing that is bothering me is she’s been hot and cold, mixed messages sugfesting we might get back together and wonders if il fancy with her baby bump. We have met since the breakup over a meal and vibes were good. She’s then backtracking after that meet but my main issue is:
Ever since the pregnancy she has mentioned the 12 week mark like it’s this sacred date before we see each other again. She keeps saying she’ll feel better in 12 weeks then we can discuss things, like she’s going to be really unwell every day.She’s fixated on this 12 week mark and I’m not sure why. I have a theory that if she has slept with someone else she could be sending mixed messages to another person. Yesterday was really odd as she said she might need to know my blood type when she sees the mid wife. my mom slept on it and told me she thought that was odd as it never happened to her or anyone she’s knows who was pregnant. But she has this obsession over the 12 week scan before meeting or committing the anything.
Can some give me some insight as to why she’s fixated on this 12 week mark.
Tldr: ex girlfriend dumped me and tells me she’s pregnant, sus behaviour over the 12 week date
1 comment
There can be an incompatibility between the fetus’ and mother’s blood if the fetus inherits Rh+ factor from the father. It’s not a problem during a first pregnancy but it *can* cause problems during birth. The mother’s body will attack the fetal blood cells. It’s easily treated with a couple of injections but her provider needs to know if it’s required.
As to the 12 weeks, the risk of miscarriage drops dramatically after that point. She may just not want to hash things out until she feels certain of carrying to term.