Fellow wives, help me understand if I am overanalyzing.
For context, my wife is a very selfless person as am I or I at least try to be. When we actually become intimate I hold off until she finishes a majority of the time, even if she asks me to focus on myself. Its a habit I picked up cause I love seeing my partner satisfied before myself.
Well a few nights ago she approached me saying “I am in a half mood, so please, focus on yourself honey”. Normally that means ‘she and I can have sex but she isn’t really in a mood where she thinks she can get off’. So I tried doing that, and what is normally a 45 minute to hour activity turned into a mere 20 minute thing.
Afterwards she kept saying how cute I was and had this prideful glow about her. I asked if she was just happy that she made me finish so quickly and she got giggly and said ‘Yis’.
Is that a thing? Do women sometimes take pride in helping their partners finish so quickly? Is it taken as a compliment in some regard?
I am genuinely curious as Ive always seen it as when you finish quickly its shameful for men.
27 comments
There are definitely times where I am quite pleased I blew his mind and got him off faster than usual!
There are two conflicting selfish desires when it comes to sex; the desire to feel pleasure, and the desire to feel like you are irresistibly sexy to your partner. She wasn’t in the right headspace for the first one as much, but seeing you finish faster than usual made her feel the second one.
There are times when my wife isn’t feeling the need but is happy to take care of me. She definitely seems to enjoy knowing she can get me off, especially as it is happening.
Yes!
I (m late 30)has DE (means I can go hours, not by choice). For Mr it is stress related.
I too k my partner on a vacation in Europe and it was an amazing relaxing time. Well come to one night of us in bed she made me pop in under 5 minutes. I was kind of shocked and thrown by it but to this day my partner still finds that her favorite moment because she felt empowered that she could get me off before she did.
Let her have the win and enjoy it.
My best friend and I will literally text each other and be like “I made him Cum so fast on purpose and it was great!” Just like you stated that your partners pleasure is important to you, some of us feel the same and get excited/giddy/proud because we accomplished it 🤣
This has definitely made me feel proud before; it’s wonderful to know you can have that effect on someone.
Actually they do take pride. Usually have sex with my girl for hours and sometimes is too much for her. So the first time she made me cum fast (2 mins tops) she was so proud of herself. She said by making me cum in 2 mins made her feel so desirable and she felt really powerful bcs she made me cum that fast considering we have sex for hours.
I always tell my husband, if he’s in the mood and I’m not ill take care of ya. But to answer the other question yes. I think he is a little bothered that he finishes too quick sometimes but I do get turned on and happy that i can pleasure my man in no time.
>Is that a thing? Do women sometimes take pride in helping their partners finish so quickly? Is it taken as a compliment in some regard?
>I am genuinely curious as Ive always seen it as when you finish quickly its shameful for men.
Absolutely. The problem occurs when it happens within 5 minutes or less and it’s constant. It’s also worse when the man doesn’t do anything to compensate and priorize her pleasure and enjoyment.
It sounds like you have good stamina, and you both have a healthy sexual relationship together, so in this case it’s a positive thing that shows her how much she pleasures you and how attracted to her you are.
100% this is a thing and never be ashamed of how long something takes. What matters is if both sides are happy. Be it a 5min fling or an all-night sort of adventure.
We call her half-mood a pleasing session. Its like a fun raincheck where we acknowledge that one side is in the mood and the other just wants to please this time. Sometimes its me and sometimes its him. These ‘pleasers’ are usually shorter than when we are both fully in the mood. Sometimes they are more like a quicky. I can say that I definitely get very excited/proud when I drive him wild and satisfy him thoroughly.
Finishing in two minutes can be a problem. 20 minutes is not “quickly” for a lot of couples.
That said, I think I’m a bit like you. I’ll happily go for an hour if I’m allowed to. Eventually, my SO tells me to get on my back and fucks me until I cum. She knows exactly how to do it, takes a great deal of pleasure in controlling exactly when it happens and looks very pleased with herself afterwards. I have no complaints.
Sometimes I’m really not in the mood for our usual 1 hour sessions, I just want something quick to mostly get him off, so when I’m able to make him finish quickly, it’s totally a compliment (especially when it’s a time I WANTED him to finish quicker) hope that makes sense!
My kink is a two pump chump. The faster he cums, the more turned on and sexually satisfied I am. I literally want him to bust on insertion.
Maybe she is similar. At least for some of the time.
Oh yeah, that’s most of what I did with my ex (it’s complicated) but it’s great fun indeed to just watch your partner get off from essentially just your presence.
My fiancé used to try to make me finish before him, but seeing as I get much more stimulation from his fingers, I finally coaxed him into setting a slower rhythm so we’d both enjoy it, but if he started getting close, to chase that instead of holding off for me.
Then I get a good 40 minute finger session afterwards 💅🏻
Ended up working amazing for both of us.
Yes, I love it when mine finds himself ready to cum quickly. It’s a major turn on. If it happened every time, I’d feel differently.
Plus there are times where I have multiple o’s and kind of feel guilty. He tells me not to and to just enjoy it.
Feels like it all evens out.. we’re both giving to each other and genuinely enjoying the other person experiencing pleasure.
Absolutely. For me, it makes me feel like I’m doing something extra good if my man enjoyed it so much he came quicker than usual 💕
Sometimes it’s nice to know that your partner is satisfied and you didn’t have to feel the pressure of HAVING to orgasm when you know it isn’t going to happen.
Finishing in 2 minutes isn’t ideal. Finishing in 20 isn’t shameful at all.
Especially considering that she knew she wasn’t going to cum, 45 minutes would’ve been a chore. 20 was good for you and good for her.
Yes. If my husband finishes by my hood actions, makes me feel good and accomplished 😌
Absolutely! Would I want every sexual encounter to be 15/20 minutes? No. But I absolutely love occasional quickies (usually first thing in the morning) where my partner is extra sensitive and I can make him cum in a heartbeat. Makes me feel irresistible and I love watching him have pleasure.
I’m definitely proud when this happens! Sometimes I don’t want sex, but am more than happy to go down on him. If he finishes sooner than usual, usually accompanied by lots of hot vocalization, I am very pleased with myself.
I take it as an achievement when my partner cums quicker. To a female, it’s like saying you are so good that I couldn’t hold it in.
Duh…
I tried to offer this to my husband. He likes making sure I climax. I don’t orgasm easily on top. It rarely happens, honestly, but that position gets him to the finish line very quickly. I know this. He got really disappointed a few months ago that I did not orgasm while on top. I mean so disappointed, he didn’t want me on top anymore. I tried to reassure him that I want him to enjoy himself, and that I don’t always have to orgasm to enjoy it too. He wasn’t convinced, so he continued to avoid that position. So, I offered one time to be on top and told him it’s just for him. I love seeing him enjoy me. It makes me feel good and makes me happy. Now he does occasionally ask for me to be on top at least to start.
Totally. When my partner is trying his best not to cum but can’t hold back because I “look and feel *way* too good” (quote) it’s the absolute biggest compliment. In my head it’s like I’m irresistible to him and he’s so turned on by the way I look and feel that he can’t control himself. It’s hot as hell! As long as he finishes me afterwards or we have round 2 later and I get my turn, it’s a huge positive for me
Omg yes the joy it brings me when I can make him cum super quick, it just makes you feel attractive and awesome! But then he also holds himself back for ages to make me cum or I can edge him for hours so it’s a surprising fun occurance when it happens
Just tell her I’m so attracted to u, you really made me feel amazing
I strongly identify with this! I love the thought that I was attractive enough or a good enough lover that I made him finish quickly. I swell with pride a little bit anytime he has to pause to keep from coming