Hey, everyone- I am 28 years old my wife is the same age. I am from the U.S.A. and my wife is from another country. I have student loans, we rent, and we share one car. It was expensive and continues to be for all of the fees to the government due to her being a foreigner. In any event, she is from a country where traveling is the norm. Vacation times, healthcare, sick days, etc. are prioritized more than here. In any event, we have a trip we are planning on taking a trip back to her country this summer (I lived internationally and worked there for a while when we were dating) and it is costly. She works two jobs and one job goes to buying her mom a home so she doesn’t have to rent forever. I work a job as well and Doordash is on the side with my wife. In any event, we took a vacation last year to California and this year to South Carolina, Gerogia, and Tennessee. The issue is, she will not work when we have children and that’s fine, but all of the finances will be on me. We are saving for a home and towards my student loans. No matter, what she wants to travel internationally and domestically each year. Every time one of her friends travels abroad from back home, she wants to as well. She doesn’t consider going back home an international trip even if the price is very expensive because she’s going home. I have no issue with that as I understand it has been three years since she has seen her family, but she expects to continue having vacations when we have kids and when she isn’t working as well (going home isn’t a vacation for her). She tells me “You are the man, so make more money”. I will soon be making $75,000 a year. I have a Masters’s degree and I am obtaining several licenses and studying for the exams. I didn’t grow up wealthy and I grew up in a rural town and now reside in a city in the midwest. I have worked and saved for everything I have. My parents are older and I need to help them as well. We currently send her mom $200.00 monthly for rent. She just always says “you need to make more money sorry you are a man over and over”. I work in the financial planning industry and even when I build out an entire plan, she doesn’t adjust her mindset. Am I a jerk for being frustrated? What do I do?
1 comment
You’re not a jerk for being frustrated, your wife is being unrealistic with your finances. I don’t recommend having kids with her until she realizes the costs of giving up her income to be a SAHM and what that would mean for her trip money + the money she gives her mom. And if making more money was so easy to do then she should go out and do it.