Woman I’m recently seeing lied on 4 important basics so far. Are these red flags? Is it worth continuing?

45 comments

1. Not worth continuing. She seems to flippant and untrustworthy.

   Lying about a kid is the biggest red flag. For fucks sake, you’re a mother be proud. I get some guys dont want single moms but its gonna come out eventually.

   Height is not a big deal breaker.

   Age is another big red flag. How do you go from 36-42 . Again , this screams insecurity and willingness to lie to someone just to get a date. Again being 42 is not bad per say but she knows most guys prefer younger. This is deceptive.

   And the last part depends on you. Do you want kids? Is her answer gonna be an issue?

   She just seems like someone who is way too okay about being deceptive to get what she wants. This wont end well down the line

2. This woman IS a red flag.

3. Nope. Don’t waste your time. She’s already shown you she has a habit of lying. It’s not just going to stop here. You could keep things casual, but this isn’t gf material.

4. Sounds like a pathological liar. Hope those long legs are worth it. Enjoy!

5. Bang her and bolt.

6. Get the fuck out, man. The height thing … fine. Taller girls are not as popular as shorter ones and she probably wanted a shot at a date. The age thing, that’s bad. A year or two, especially if she claimed she was 39 when she was early 40s… I’d be willing to overlook that since it could be so she could say she’s in her 30s or something. Age can be a sensitive issue for some people. But 6 years? That’s fucking nuts. It doesn’t matter if she looks 18 or 78, the point is she lied about it – twice.

   Finally the kids thing… lying about wanting them is bad since honestly, since you’re somewhat younger than 36, I’m assuming maybe you’re thinking about settling down and having a family. The desire to have kids is super important before establishing a new relationship that could be your last. That’s a really bad lie. But the worst part is lying about having kids. That’s straight up fucked up.

   I know you like her, but someone like her is going to end up lying to you more and more to get her way. Come on man, look at how many times she’s lied to you already. And those are the lies you caught, who knows what other BS she’s been feeding you. Get out.

7. “I have kids of my own but won’t date someone with kids.” You can F right off with that hypocrisy. But maybe we can have one together later or adopt. What!? And lying about having kids. Pass.

8. Any one of these lies should have shaken some sense into you. She’s willing to lie about all this just to get a date, what’s she willing to lie about when things matter?

   Stop thinking with your boner.

9. ONE lie is already a red flag and is too much. Your deal breakers are yours to decide though

10. If this is going to remain casual and evolve to fwb situation then keep your guard up. But anything more is going to be a waste of time and emotional energy.

11. In a few years you will be on an infidelity subreddit posting about DDay #5. Talking about you can’t believe you didn’t see the signs.

12. She sounds desperate. Lying this early about kids and her age are huge red flags to me. Kids and age matter to a lot of people and can be dealbreakers, and to lie about them shows me they can’t be trusted, and they’re insecure which is just…ick.

13. If she lied about her age what else did she lie about? The hypocrisy of I don’t want to date a man with kids or who’s been divorced when she’s got a kid herself.

14. She’s a lying bitch. Run

15. That’s waaay too many lies. I get not stating you have kids until it comes up/right away, (I know I don’t, since I don’t want to attract people who are specifically looking for access to kids) but to straight up lie about it? Absolutely not.

    There’s way too much lieing in general here, and they tend to be more than just… Harmless white lies. How would you trust her, long term?

16. The first one alone would be enough for me to call it. She has, to put it mildly, a very loose relationship with the truth, and has proven willing to stomp all over it the moment it works to her advantage. You’re lucky that what she has lied about so far hasn’t been deal breakers for you, but what happens when she starts bending the truth about things that actually matters to you?

    Being untruthful is disrespectful and it’s deeply selfish. It shows she doesn’t really care about your situation and perspective, only her own.

    I would strongly recommend walking away, no matter how great her legs are.

    Best of luck OP, take care of yourself.

    **Edit:** I will say this though. Don’t be a dick. Based on your comments: you may want to get laid, but don’t bend or hide the truth to get what you want. If you want to continue a casual connection, and you have suggested something more in your interactions so far, you absolutely need to be honest and direct with her about it (and yes, that means bringing it up of your own volition). Anything else would be a massive asshole move, and deeply disingenuous.

17. > I’m 42 I thought I told you. I laughed and told her I’ll just let it go
    but if she’s 48 next time it’s over. She looks good as if in her 30’s

    this one seems curious lol, how old are you btw, hahaha,

18. Hell yeah GTFO ASAP

19. Dude she’s actively lying to you bro ditch it

20. I’m a single mom and every time I’ve dated I’ve been up front about it because I know not everyone is I interested in someone with kids.

    If I went on a date with a guy and found out that he hid a kid from me I’d be done right then.

    She lied about a kid, her age multiple times, her height, the possibility of having kids with you. What didn’t she lie about?

    “I got HIV from you?!”
    “Oh, I thought I told you I was positive. Oops”

21. Get in, Get Off, Get Out!!!

22. **Are these sort of things early red flags?**

    Yeah. Huge. It’s a bit worrying you even need to ask.

    **Is It horribly wrong to continue with her while I keep casually looking?**

    Even if she didn’t lie, if you guys aren’t exclusive or haven’t discussed these specific boundaries, you can do whatever you want.

23. You should run now

24. I personally wouldn’t

    Honesty and accountability for words are a very big thing for me or else I’ll be second guessing everything.

    I’m not saying you to break it directly it would be better if you express these concerns and see how she takes it.

25. Did you confirm if she is a woman?

    She pretty much lied about everything else. She has a kid and originally she said no. She is 42 for now but originally she is 36. Kids are pretty much out of question for both of you. The height thing isn’t a big deal.

    By now I would have broken up with her. One lie is enough for me. You had me already. You should meet her again and try to catch a few more lies. I think we can easily get three more out of her by the next date.

26. Break it off with her bro. That’s three fucking strikes at least

27. This sounds slightly similar to the last girl I dated. Run like the wind. Leave and don’t look back. This one isn’t worth it.

28. Not just a red flag brother that’s an entire high rise lit up with 4000lumen red led lights.

    Move on king.

29. run omg

30. She clearly is a pathological liar

31. Just sit and talk.
    Festivus it!
    Air those greivances.

    She could be feeding answers that she thinks will keep you from running away.
    Dating when older is impossible.

32. Mate she has deceitfully telling you lies , you shouldn’t be bothered by her lies ever .

    Biggest flaws were , lying about kid and age , if she can lie about those subjects she can easily lie about other important things.

    Just dump her bro

33. This woman lies about everything from the get-go and she has a kid but doesn’t like dating men with kids? Saying you don’t have kids, but having kids, to me is a form of cat fishing. Plus, her lying about her age and height is definitely catfishing.

34. I read some comments that she sounds desperate – what can be the case. However, my first thought while reading was that she might be looking for hookups as her lies (age, height, and being childless) could (dunno) put her in a better position to attract potential partners, also looking for nothing serious.

    But OP, this is an outsider’s view from someone out of the dating scene for some years now. So listen to your instincts – if you felt the need to share with other people because you sensed something was off, maybe it was.

35. She scares me, I wouldn’t even recommend continueing the casual relationship.

36. Run and never look back. She is a giant red flag.

37. From the looks of it shes lied but lied to please you.
    See how it goes with her and give it a go, might be good for you.

38. I would have run away after 1st only.

    Respect yourself, don’t be desperate, don’t waste your time with liars and she’s also a mess.

39. 3 dates, 4 major lies. Come on, you know what to do.

40. If it was just one of any of those I would say it’s not an issue. But if she is lying all the time about little things then she is going to lie about the big ones.

41. I think these are mostly red flags. The height thing, I mean, some people don’t really know how tall they are or they only know in one metric and the metric on the app or whatever may not be the one they know. That being said, I have kids and I don’t want to date a single dad (yes, I’m aware this is a double standard. I know my limitations and my kids are almost fully grown, and I really just don’t like kids and don’t want to raise someone else’s) but I always tell people if/when it comes up. Usually I’ll tell them between the first and second date if it hasn’t already come up. That way they can decide if it’s a deal breaker or not.
    Lying about her age on several separate occasions? Yes. It doesn’t matter how old or young you look, you tell your correct age to people you intend to date right off the bat. Generally people are at different life stages at different ages, which leads into the whole her saying she wants more kids but backpeddled. Yes it’s risky to have children at 42. But surely she would have known this when she told you she wanted more. These things are deceptive, and manipulative. She’s told you what you want to hear to get you caught in her Web. If these things (children mostly) are things you want, you shouldn’t have to compromise. Also – if she’s so comfortable to deceive you this early on, what else is she willing to be deceptive about? She seems comfortable enough to lie to you right off the bat. This to me, above all else, is a massive red flag

42. Sounds perfect if you like lying liars who lie. What the actual fuck is wrong with you people who need to ask strangers for advice for something so obviously fucked up? Putting up with that kind of shut sounds desperate as hell.

43. Let me play devils advocate…hear me out.
    Man… I know everybody is telling you to run, and normally little white lies, and deflection are red flags… I see this as insecurity, and nervousness on her part from perhaps being judged and being told that the things she’s lying about are going to hurt her in the future.

    Perhaps she’s been talked down to for being a single mother, so she deflects and tries to entice people by saying she doesn’t have kids for the hookup culture. Right? One night stands don’t care if you have kids, so say you don’t. Then once she decides she really likes somebody, has to come clean.
    Maybe she’s been trolled and made fun of for being a giraffe, think “deuce biggalo, male giggalo’, hahaa. So being tall has been a deterrent for so much of her life, if she states her height, she fears people will run.
    Being an older, single mother, age of 40 is much less enticing than 35…So, again, for the initial hookup culture, edge your age a little, and maybe people will be into you.

    Here’s the deal.. if you’re into her, like you say you are, I’d let these little things slide, a bit, for now…but if red flags continue to show up, and more lies are detected, you can ALWAYS say, ‘there have been too many, and I can’t hang’…. But if you feel she’s genuine, then don’t run yet.

    I actually feel a bit bad for her for some reason, like she’s been through things where people have been harsh to her, and now she’s trying to hide them so people don’t continue to be harsh to her any longer. But the side effect is she’s lying… This one is a goofy one. I’d love updates.

44. pump and dump her a couple times more and run…

    if you get a video, better, so you send it to the man she’ll marry.

    haha just kidding.

    ​

    Now, talking seriously:

    She lied before. So it’s highly probably that she can say what you want to hear (lie again) just to make you overlook previous lies.

    She can tell you now she agrees to have more kids with you but *SLAP*, the time passes and she denies ever agreed something like that.

    ​

    Don’t waste your time. Enjoy the ride and run.

45. OP obviously lacks common sense. Guess they go together 😁