Married women of Reddit, what are the essentials for a good sex life in marriage?

8 comments

1. A big one would be managing your health and well being. I currently have hormonal imbalance and have zero sex drive. It’s affecting my marriage. My husband has gained weight and developed sleep apnea which causes manor fatigue so its a shit show really
   . I know it’s not my fault my hormones are screwed up but I’m doing things to try and balance it so I can feel frisky again. I’m sure there are loads of other things but that is a big one for me

2. A balanced relationship where you actually get along and are supportive of your partner. Most sex lives suffer when one partner (or both) feels resentment for something (can be about a seemingly insignificant thing).

   Open communication is very important too. After my second child, I had zero desire for sex for about a year (it had nothing to do with my husband, I think my hormones were a little wonky). I communicated that openly to my husband who understood and accepted it while not feeling rejected or like he did something wrong (causing me to no want to have sex with him).

3. Communication. Talk to each other about what you like and dislike. Don’t assume your partner is a mindreader.

4. I focus on making myself attractive for my husband. The biggest thing for us was him being able to communicate with me how he wanted to be seduced. I’m flexible with what time we have sex as long as we have sex daily or every other day. We try new positions and I buy new toys all of the time. I text him during the day telling him how attractive I find him. We didn’t have kids so it is easy for us to focus all of our energy into prioritizing our sex life.

5. Female orgasms.

6. regular date nights so that sex doesn’t keep getting put off

7. Communication and listening skills. Learn to make compromises. Learn to listen without reacting. Listen to learn. Learn to laugh in the bedroom. Make a safe space for each other.

8. have a personal life, set time to be apart and support one another to give one another space. Space is important, missing your partner is important.

   Be able to communicate about sex, wants, needs and your experiences. Be comfortable talking about all aspects of it.

   Make it a priority, sometimes it’s hard. work, kids, life and you’re just too tired but at least give your body a chance to get aroused if your partner is trying.

   If your partner wants intimacy, make it a priority.

   Make it fun, have toys, buy sexy underwear, get the fancy hotel room, get away for a weekend, light candles.