It’s absolutely true that certain opposites can attract, and that opposites can sometimes compliment each other.
I’m currently quite different to my partner, and it’s working… but there are still small issues. I’m talking introvert / extrovert. Gamer / outdoors is type etc. Active / passive.
I’m much more social and into things that are less tech-related.
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I was dating someone similar? Is it true that clashing is more likely?
7 comments
Attract? Yes.
Live together in peace and harmony? Not so much.
If you’re happy you’re happy
You say it’s working…. Them dots say a lot. What’s on your mind chief
i believe in order to live in harmony you sort of have to compromise a bit. you might wanna take an interest in the things she likes and viceversa. if you’re unable to do that, then that’s an issue
10 years with my completly opposite husband and going strong.
Over the years we’ve learned how to compromise .
I’m more extraveted and he’s an introvert, he’s there for the really important stuff and I go to a lot of social outings by myself or with our kid and that works great for both of us. He doesn’t feel bombarded by too many people and I don’t miss out on the things that I want to do.
Parenthood has made him more outdoorsy but even before that we’d make a point of taking hikes together and nkt spending all our time cooped up on the couch.
My point is, everyone involved needs to be willing and happy to bend for the other. It doesn’t have to be full of strife or misery, as long as each of you understand who the other person is, accepts it and works with each other.
This is something even more similar couples have because no matter how alike they are they’re still not the exact same person.
Short term should be fine, but longer term, some resentment could develop if each person’s needs aren’t met. As an example, the gamer refuses to spend time outdoors, it would hold them back and make them unhappy. Or if the one who loves the outdoors tries to force the gamer to go camping every weekend. It can work, it’s just more work. And both partners should be able to do the things they want without feeling guilty.
Me and my children’s father were the same way, I was very “hippie, laid back, go with the flow” he was VERY detailed oriented, structured, and organized.
The first couple years were hell, actual hell…however we both were really young (me 19 and him 25) when we met and a lot of our arguments were because of immaturity on both sides. We didn’t have tolerance for our differences and that made living together really hard.
However after the first 7ish years or so it really shifted and we both grew a lot. We learned what was worth arguing about, how to compromise with our differences, we learned to be more accepting of what made us who we were. We even found ways to use our differences to our advantage as a family. Finding each-other’s strengths and weakness and applying them where they would of impacted better results depending on the situation we were facing.
We ultimately did end up separating and divorced…but it had nothing to do with our differences. We are best friends to this day and I can trust him with anything. I think these relationships can be very fulfilling and keep things interesting. You just have to learn how to be accepting of what makes you so different.