Hi there, for context me(26f) and my husband (27)have been together 5 years and have to kids (2-1/2 & 1yr)
When I first met his family they really accepted me into the family from the start. (Went on vacations together, holidays ect) But as time has passed we’ve all slowly stopped talking to each other regularly. His parents never text/call to ask about our kids or to see them, neither does his brother or SIL. But, we have asked several times throughout this year if we could get their kids and have slumber parties or take them out of town to have fun with our kids and they would “think about it” say they already have plans. Me and my SIL used to be closer but now it’s damn near every time IM the one texting her and inviting her to places and it’s 50/50 if she’ll come or find a way out of it.
What’s irritating about all of this is how earlier this year his brother and SIL were complaining and saying how nobody(me, my husband and his parents) calls or texts them and how it’s really hurtful. And I still get mad about it.
I want to say something to his parents and his brother and SIL about why they don’t involve themselves with us when it seems like my and my husband have been the only ones actually putting effort to have a relationship with them. But I know I will create drama and I feel like it’s not my place and if my husband has such an issue with it he should say something but he just shrugs it off. And I don’t say much to my husband about it anyways cause I don’t like talking bad about his family I feel like I’m being disrespectful when I do.
Should I just drop it and let it be and just don’t text them or make an effort or should I talk to my husband about us saying something about it ?
TLDR: husbands side of the family puts no real effort into talking to or being with us or our kids and it’s irritating me.
3 comments
You can speak up and should about anything bothering you. You don’t have to do it in a men’s or nasty way but discuss it honestly. Say what you feel and recognize…
It’s his family. He needs to be the one who speaks up. It’s unfortunate but that’s how the majority of family dynamics are. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you say something you can’t take back and your husband doesn’t back you up.
I agree with the others here. It’s his responsibility to speak up to his family. Maybe talk to him about your feelings and ask him to speak to them.
I think it’s truly wonderful that you don’t speak badly about his family to him. That’s a mistake many women make.