I still love this guy so much after ending it in June. He’s some kind of emotional avoidant but never let me close enough to know exactly how he’s broken. I never got enough from him, my anxiety was triggered when he wouldn’t call, and I’d eventually try to break up with him. He’d beg me to stay, apologize, say he’d do better and I’d give in and repeat, the cycle… for 8 months.
The thing is, I think about him every day 6 months later. I blocked his number but I’m sure he’s reached out anyway. I can still feel him. Ugh, I know.
He’s so far from self awareness about his fear of abandonment, refusing to get help, far from being a stable partner for me… but I can’t help but feel like going no contact only adds to his belief that everyone leaves. He makes everyone leave. FFS.
I want to send a Christmas card. Nothing too emo, just a note to let him know that he’s on my list of people I care about, that i don’t hold hard feelings. I’m asking here because I feel like I need the advice of people who identify as avoidants- what would that card feel like to you?
I have resisted the urge every day for months but I feel like I might feel like this forever. Help.
2 comments
Don’t.
No. Move on