Hey all,
OK, I’ve reached my limit with this OLD stuff – I’m asking our wonderful community for a helping hand here.
I’ve read plenty of comments in the past, saying “dating for guys is purely a numbers game” but I feel like it’s more than that for me. It’s incredibly demoralising, and after a LOT of extensive self-work, I’m wondering if there’s something fundamental that I’m missing here. I rarely get responses, and rarely even get to a first date. There’s gotta be some really big red flags that I’m projecting here, I can’t figure out what it is!
I hope this is sufficient – Imgur images below. I’ve got a profile on POF, hopefully this is sufficient.
Could I get some feedback/thoughts on this? I’m at my wit’s end here, can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong.
[https://imgur.com/UtJuxhN](https://imgur.com/UtJuxhN)
[https://imgur.com/Ug3aP6v](https://imgur.com/Ug3aP6v)
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6 comments
Post your profile in screenshots through IMGUR or another service. Not many people have a POF account.
Seconding the opinion that not many people are on POF. (Unless things are different in Australia.) Have you tried other apps?
None of your pictures are flattering. The band pic is decent except for the fact you cant see what you look like.
I don’t think you’re ugly but your pics are doing you no favors. Get outside with natural lighting and decent clothes. If you want a ‘I play tennis’ pic then go to a court with a friend and try to stage an action shot. Good way to show your body type without being a selfie too.
Being a smoker in this day is going to hurt your chances for sure, and wanting kids at 42 is really starting to be late, those two things will get you filtered out pre screening before even having a chance with a lot of women.
Dude your photos are very poorly taken:
* First photo has awful lighting. It just looks sloppy, and a tank top doesn’t help. It’s especially bad to put it as the first photo.
* Second photo is more okay, but it would be much better if it was a photo of you actually playing.
* Third photo has an awful angle that makes you look like you have a double chin. Plus it’s a selfie and has an ambiguous facial expression and has your chest showing – again, looks sloppy.
Additionally, you prob need to work on your hairstyle – it looks kinda sloppy as well.
I’d suggest that you get some more photos taken in fancier clothes, in better lighting, with better grooming, either smiling or doing something more serious than standing around. You definitely look like someone who could look good – at least to me, a straight dude haha.
Then, take it to PhotoFeeler. It’s really hard to judge your own attractiveness from photos – photos that look about the same to me have gotten me scores from 3 to 9/10 – guess which ones I put on my profile.
Starting out I’d personally avoid POF in Melbourne as I’ve never had any success with the platform. Attempted it in my younger days and found it was filled with low-effort perusers rather than anyone actually seeking a connection. I’ve only ever tried OkCupid but I know Hinge/Tinder still get a bunch of use (and the latter even for dating).
Apart from the fourth photo they’re all pretty unflattering and I’d guess that better angles (and outfits) would make for much better photos. I generally avoid overly casual looks in online dating and if I were to post a photo it’d be with my dressiest workout gear in an active environment.
Most of the text could probably be improved but I feel is sufficient. I’d probably be more specific with music/movies/netflix as these terms are overly generic.
Honestly, fix the photos and change platform I think yoúll be OK?
Agreed with others that you could use better pics, although I like the one with you in a hat doing music stuff. It doesn’t really show what you look like, but gives off a warm vibe and shows you in your natural element, which is nice.
Your profile could use an infusion of romance. Looking for a person to do stuff with and drive around and hit the gym blah blah is kinda… meh. I can do that on my own or with friends I already have. How about looking for your best friend, someone to giggle with, to explore nooks and crannies of small towns, to enjoy picnics in parks, etc. Give us a fun look at life with you! You have interests that women would be attracted to, but consider dressing it up. Make yourself the window display of a shop full of goodies.
The only other feedback I would give is that the body type you’ve listed is not the body type I’m seeing in your photos. You’re a huskier man than average (according to your pics), and so the description isn’t accurate. I’d change it and be confident in yourself! Women love confidence, for real.