Girlfriend is stranded across the country for Christmas because of me

32 comments

1. Dude what? Is your gf not a grown woman? Is there something preventing her from caring for herself? Why on earth is this on you? Your mom wants to be with family for her last Christmas. Your gf should have enough empathy to understand that. Leave this childish woman blocked. Stand up for yourself, damn.

2. She’s 31 in a hotel.

   What are you scared for her about?

3. Wtf? It’s not normal as a grown woman to just block you. It‘a more normal to be sad and then communicate with you.

4. Yikes. She blocked you because she’s…spending Christmas with her family while you spend it with your dying mom? That’s awful, immature, and selfish.

5. How are You responsible for her cat allergy? Doesn’t she know her sister well enough to know if they have a cat? Did You force her to go to her sister? i mean she could’ve just stayed home.

   Also: doesn’t she have some cetirizine or something which suppresses allergies?

   IMO it’s easy for her to blame you for everything, but she’s an adult as well right?

6. This has to be fake tbh

7. Wow – sounds like she has the emotional maturity of a toddler.

   Seriously man, she blocked you, knowing the situation?

   And you feel obligated to feel bad after she’s treating you like shit?

   You’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, my friend.

8. Have you seen the movie Se7en? Is she trapped in that ‘hotel’? No? Then why t f are you scared for her? She’s an immature asshole brat for

   1. Not respecting that you’re spending time with your dying mum, and

   2. Not making the best of the situation with her own sister. Adults have full relationships with other adults even when there are allergies involved. Shocker.

   W T F did we just read? What advice are you looking for? She blocked you – *be glad.*

9. I am so sorry for what you are going through with your mom, you and your familly deserve that christmas with her and your mom deserves that her dying wish be respected. This isn’t about your GF this is supose to be about your mom and the fact you are loosing her.

   Your GF is 31 years old, she is an adult, she is in a town with her familly and she can freaking take allergy meds to deal with the cat. I also don’t think the cat was a surprise so she damn well knew what she was getting into when she went.

   she is being very manipulative and uncarring of you feelings right now by behaving this way.

   I think you should see this for the blessing it is, getting rid of someone who has no empathy or sympathy for the pain you are going through and who is unable to be your rock in a time where you really need all the help you can get. If she can’t put herself asside and be your person even if that means stepping away for a few days then she is not worthy of being called your GF.

   Please for the sake of what ever time you have left with your mom, put her in a box and deal with her later, don’t let her darken what time you have left with your mom. I lost my mom very suddenly over Xmas when I was 12 and as much as your situation sucks I would give anything to be able to have that precious time with her. don’t squander it over nonsence.

   much love.

10. Depending on how long yall have been together I could see her being slightly salty that your mom specified only direct family. But with your mom dying she should get over it. She’s a grown woman and should be okay spending a couple of days alone in a hotel room. Honesty that sounds like a dream for most people I know. Even if it is a holiday.

11. I imagine that your own emotional responses to things are exaggerated at the moment because of the heightened emotions with your mother’s illness. Try to think logically. She is in a hotel. She’s not stranded on the streets, or stuck in the middle of nowhere without power. She’s simply in a hotel. She is not right to block you – that’s ridiculous and shows poor emotional maturity on her behalf. You are not ‘the absolute worst’. She could have stayed at home, spent it with friends or done anything really. All she is doing is in a hotel. She really needs to get some perspective as do you.

    Put her out of your mind and spend time with your mother and don’t let your childish girlfriend make this precious weekend about her

12. I wish I could send you the world’s smallest violin so that you could play it for your gf.

13. focus on your mom. this might be her last Christmas.

14. So , are you at your mum’s house ? Or did you ask your girlfriend to leave your home that you share

15. You sent her to see her sister? Was she vanished from her home for the holiday because you cannot include her in your family events? Or was the trip a treat to see her sister? The wording on this is weird and it appears you sent her away instead of letting her be supportive during your time of grief? Not sure we have the whole story here.

16. I understand this self-blaming feeling way too well. Your gf needs to work on her mental health issues better if she’s even addressing them at all…but more importantly I suggest you learn how to understand yourself better and how to make your own needs a priority. You deserve better

    I recently bought this audiobook called “not nice” and it’s all about how to overcome debilitating people pleasing habits. You should look into something like this

17. She is with her sister. I kinda feel like we are not getting the whole story. Even if she dislikes her MIL no one is this big a AH at Christmas with a dying woman. Where you supposed to meet her and didn’t? Why is she in a hotel and not with family?

18. I think she should be capable to make her own decisions. So why did she even go to her sister? Doesn’t she know she has a cat? She could try to get on the next flight back or could have just stayed home from the beginning. Yes, it probably sucks for her to be alone on christmas, but this could be the last one for your mother, so she could suck it up.

19. My god, I can’t believe she can’t understand and give your poor mom some grace. Please don’t let this ruin your mom’s last Christmas. Be present for her. Your gf is a full grown adult. Leave her to her manipulating ways. She sucks.

20. Trying to see both sides here. Depending on how long the two of you have been together, she may have hoped to be close to you at a moment like this. It’s understandable that your family would prefer to keep things smaller for your mom’s sake, but your gf may have seen herself as a partner who could offer you love and support. She may be feeling rejected or not wanted/needed by you. Is that fair right now? Not entirely. You’re dealing with heavy anticipatory grief, and the needs of you and your family come first. But her feelings are understandable, if this is where her disappointment is coming from.

    If I were you: first, go easy on yourself. Be present with your family. You won’t get this time back. Tell your gf that you’re sorry about how things ended up for her right now, but let go of any feelings of guilt. She made her own decisions.

    Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things you will ever experience. Sometimes it can bring things into perspective, including relationships. How is she speaking to you about her feelings right now? Is she complaining and telling you it’s your fault her Christmas sucks as you’re with your ailing mother? Because that would definitely change things…

21. You are not the worst. You did not ruin everything. Your girlfriend has 0 empathy for the situation that you’re in. You should not have had to ask her to go. Any empathetic partner would hear the situation and say “okay, I understand” and make their own plans. It’s completely unfair of her to put another responsibility on your plate at such an awful time for you.

    I know it might be hard to make big decisions right now, but I would consider moving forward without the gf, especially if selfishness like this is a pattern from her.

22. Plenty of nice normal women out there who would love a boyfriend like you who cares so deeply for his mom.

    Merry Christmas!

23. You sent her, like in a shipping box?

    I assume you meant she agreed to go, and you paid for the trip.

    Is something being left out of this story? I for one would love to stay in a hotel over Christmas.

24. You mom is dying and instead of giving you maximum support your gf chose to be immature and block you for some stupid reason? You did nothing wrong except maybe choosing her as your GF…

    Im sorry about your mom, OP. Please cherish this christmas you have with her and don’t let your gf ruin it for you… This will be the memory you have of your mom, your last christmas… If your gf can’t understand it then she is very selfish human being…

25. You guys are both “adults” act like it. She is 31 and should be able to deal with a hotel and a cat allergy, right?

26. Your girlfriend couldn’t choose for herself what to do for Christmas? Why was it your responsibility to “send” her anywhere? Why didn’t she know what pets her sister owned?

27. She sounds manipulative

28. What is this story even? She didn’t know her *sister* had a cat?? There’s literally no other places to celebrate Christmas than that house?

    It sounds like this is super fake and you’re 12.

29. Which did you cause, the cat allergy or your mom’s cancer?

30. OP let me tell out this I lost my mother at the same age last year and it absolutely destroyed me. You are going to suffer for awhile. You gotta prepare for the worst because I wasn’t. I know it sucks but focus on your mother for now. You’re girlfriend will deal with this problem but losing your mom is just not something that you simply deal with. Please enjoy this Christmas with her all I did was cry for the past couple of days because I wish I still had my mom.

    If you’re girlfriend can’t understand why you need to focus on your dying mother you need to find a better girl. But even then ignore her and break up later. Cherish every moment with your mom because it’s coming to it’s last.

31. Wait….You want to spend your last christmas with your dying mother, so you send your gf to her sister, it just happens she has a cat allergy and her sister has a cat, now has to sit in a hotel and she blocks you, and you say she is absolutely right?

    Grow a pair of balls dude because apperantly she is the man in the relationship.

32. Your mom is dying. There will be other girlfriends. There won’t be another mom.