So her(6’1) and I(6’4) are both pretty tall and one thing she mentioned she likes is feeling small with her partner. Earlier in our relationship, I tried picking her up and other stuff I’ve done with exes who were smaller and I couldn’t do it.
I’ve always been fit and athletic (regularly work out) but at her height it ain’t easy picking her up so for the past 6 months when I hit the gym I’ve been doing it with the goal of being able to pick her up and toss her around a bit.
Now that I’m confident I can, when I do it I’m sure she’ll ask me where this came from. Idk if I should mention the time I spent training for her or if that would just make her self conscious about her size.
For background she is fit but tall, so she is inevitably heavier than the average gal and I know she had some insecurities about it when she was younger and I know a small part of that is still in the back of her mind even though I always tell her how attractive I find her and her long legs.
Heavier women how would you feel about this and would you rather know or not?
Tldr: gf is tall and likes to feel small. I worked out to a point that I can pick her up and make her feel small. Should I mention the training or just act as if it’s no big deal?
30 comments
“I took steroids to be able to pick you up, fuck you’re huge”
Sounds sweet to me đđ
Nawh dog, back to the gym, don’t ever tell her she’s heavy to pick up. Common sense my man.
> I’m sure she’ll ask me where this came from
“I’ve been working out!” If she tries to press further just say you’ve been focused on getting in shape and being healthier for yourself. Keep framing your gains as all about bettering yourself even if she tries to claim otherwise. Don’t even acknowledge being able to pick her up as a new change. Like you said, it’s no big deal.
Never say or imply you “did it for her” because then she might start making those assumptions and seeking validation of the insecurities in her head about being “so fat” that you had to workout just to pick her up. You might not be able to stop her thinking those thoughts anyway, but you can do your best to not enable that kind of thinking by framing this change as your success, and not leaving space for her to think it’s her “failure”.
If sheâs sensitive to feeling like a burden donât tell her but if you can word it in a way that keeps it simple and sort of downplays the work but focuses on the reason for the work I think that could be sweet
Wouldnât your improved strength be obvious by your physique? I donât think you would need to tell her anything unless she asks and you can just say that you have been working on your strength training.
Don’t tell her. She likes feeling small, not like an event you train for. The credit you get for the effort won’t compare to the consistent joy she’ll get when you pick her up. Don’t let that effort be a thought thats in the back of her mind each time. She’ll know and appreciate how strong you are anyway.
Tall female here
I personally would love it if my SO worked out specifically so he could pick me up. It’s so sweet that you’ve done that for her and if you do decide to tell her, I hope she appreciates the effort you’ve put in to do something she likes
No do not tell her you had to work out just to be able to lift her. It would be defeating the purpose. All she will hear is âyou were so big I had to work out for six months just to be able to lift you!â
Donât tell her
Do not mention it unless you are trying to make her feel fat
No, you NEVER tell a woman sheâs easier to lift because youâre stronger.
Iâm heavy but short. I look a little chubby but Iâm quite muscular so Iâm way heavier than people expect. It scares the crap out of me when people suddenly pick me up because I think Iâm going to get dropped or theyâre going to injure themselves. I used to travel with a large, heavy backpack and I had two guy friends do long term injury to their shoulders by trying to sling my bag while making assumptions about what kind of weight I was carrying and not bracing themselves. So to me, a guy assuming heâs strong enough without doing the work looks foolish. If a guy was going to pick me up and throw me around Iâd want him to do it with good form and a realistic evaluation of my weight and his strength.
I think you should be honest. Itâs incredibly cute that you put in the effort. Sheâs probably well aware of her size and weight. Lots of people like to âfeel smallâ in intimacy but that doesnât mean they want a complex scheme to try and fool them into thinking theyâre literally smaller. Itâs like a reverse of those realistic foam boulders they used to have actors pick up in superhero movies, itâs silly lol. And the other half of dynamic, the one she doesnât want to say to hurt your feelings, is she wants you to feel big and strong COMPARED to you. Itâs about a dynamic, itâs a cousin of the dom/sub dynamic people find erotic but usually in a way that has clear boundaries beyond the bedroom.
So maybe tread lightly on how you say it but be honest. Donât be like âI had to get buff because youâre so tall and heavy.â And more âI know you like being tossed around so I worked out to get better at it for you.â Trust me, thatâs hot.
Browsing the comments so far it seems like the people saying not to tell her are dudes and itâs honestly insulting. Itâs true that body-image stuff is very common and cuts really deep for so many women that it must seem unapproachable to a lot of men. But that doesnât mean every woman with an issue with her body (almost all of us) are fragile and delusional.
I always feel small and cute when my partner is the big spoon. Or kisses my forehead.
If she comments on you being able to lift her, you could just thank her for noticing youâve been working out, without going into your motivations.
I wouldnât tell her. If she is already insecure, all she will hear is: I had to train hard for an additional 6 months just to be able to pick you up.
>I’ve always been fit and athletic (regularly work out) but at her height it ain’t easy picking her up so for the past 6 months when I hit the gym I’ve been doing it with the goal of being able to pick her up and toss her around a bit.
You fucking legend YOU!
Sweet chariots, not only was that the first non “f&#$ my ex” gym motive I’ve heard in a while
That whole quote is DRIPPING with chivalry.
You tell that 6ft queen that her prince trained SPECIFICALLY to princess carry her through the threshold of your future castle!
Damn, this put me in a good mood. Well, time to ruin it with more reddit.
As a 6′ woman that can relate to wanting to feel small. Say nothing. I’m sure she won’t ask. She’ll just be turned on.
As a girl if someone ever did that for me, Iâd feel honoured! But if she has had insecurity about her weight in the past, then best to not say anything.
As a heavy woman who also likes to feel small and protected (despite my own capabilities) I would say just that you have been working out and are happy she noticed. If by chance she presses say you wanted to see what you could do and that this is a happy side effect of your hard work. Then give her a bunch of hugs. Lol thatâs what Iâd like anyway.
When you pick her up for the first time, frame as you “wanna try something” and see how easy it is from you to pick her up since you’ve been working out for self improvement
My dude, never tell any girl you had to hit the gym because you wanted to pick her up. That’s just unnecessarily mean regardless of the reason and will just reinforce the insecurities you know she already has. Why is this even a question for you? If she asks, just tell her she’s a little lady or some shit.
Don’t tell her. If she wants to feel small, you’re going to have the opposite affect if you make that comment. I see where you’re coming from but don’t let your hard work go to waste cause you want credit.
Just pick her up and donât make a big deal about it.
Lol that’d be the worst fucking plan ever dude. I been training to lift your gargantuan ass now come over here so I can make you feel small you big ass amazonian
Elephant in the room is she’s insecure about it so I wouldn’t explicitly bring it up. She is objectively not small but socialised into thinking small is better (I am a 6′ woman, I used to feel like this when I was younger).
If you pick her up? Wonderful, but don’t mention you’ve had to train like a madman to do it!
Incidentally my boyfriend is also 6’4″ and picked me up when we were first dating because he’s strong and also used to picking up women. I’m not used to it and turns out I hate being picked up anyway. So there’s that possibility too.
Good luck!
Tall big girl here. DO NOT TELL HER she will never forget it and itâll be bad
First of all: awwwww. Youâre so nice to do that for her. Second: if she likes to feel small, there are probably a few other adjectives that go with that. Have you ever felt the need to pick up and squish a cat or puppy because they just looked so cute? This. Same sentiment. Pick her up and if she asks where that came from say âyou just looked so cute/adorable, I had toâ.
Im 5â10 so not as tall as your gf but definitely understand her wanting to feel small DONT TELL HER. And if she asks how come you can, just reinforce sheâs small or smaller than you expected itâs nothing really
I would not share
If she asks, sinply saying ‘I wanted to make you feel special, so I made it happen’ will be enough. You’re so sweet for wanting to give that to her. I’m sure she’ll love it.
Honestly? Similar body type here, similar insecurity. And I would like to know, that my boyfriend has been training for months with being able to toss me around as motivation! Um hello? That is very attractive behaviour! If she’s not too attached to her ego (doesn’t take it personally) and sees what you did for her at face value, she’ll realise she’s a fortunate gal to have you! Its objective stuff, more weight requires more torque to lift. If she can’t understand that my dude dump her because you’re a very good partner and that would be nuts.