So basically it was my first ever relationship. I’m a male in my early 20s. I considered myself above average looking guy.
I was very naive during the relationship and literally did everything for my ex (helping her in her work at office, helping for exams, making food to financial support).
My ex used to have frequent anger tantrums, lied to me a lot (I found out after breakup) and also cheated in the end.
Problem is, during the relationship we had fairly good sex life (I think), she also participated and initiated everything. Used to call me up randomly and ask me to come to her place and all. Say that she craves me.
Once she broke up with me, she told me she was never attracted to me and was only with me because of my efforts. When I asked why she did all that sexual stuff, she told me she doesn’t know …said to me I’m not tall enough for her.
This incident has shattered my confidence. I keep thinking that I’m not attractive enough. I’m not tall enough .Im 5’9. I can’t ask girls out anymore. I’ve graduated college and become a doctor but I lost confidence in my appearance. My friends and parents tell me I’m good looking but they are parents and friends (they are supposed to say that).
I just automatically think that a girl will reject me before I even think of approaching her.
I don’t know what to do.
8 comments
Well that sort of sounds like she might have a personality disorder. Or she’s just being awful.
Either way you have to pick yourself up and find someone else. Honestly that will be the best therapy.
A similar situation happened to me in my early 20’s on my second relationship. Only thing that worked for my self confidence was to stay focused on my goals and once I achieved some of them I felt better and I had the confidence to approach other women knowing that it wasn’t me the problem in the relationship. I hope you can do this too or at least try to see if it works. Just take some time for yourself to recharge and process everything and then will all make sense and you will find another girl and you’ll forget about this one in no time. Be aware that some girls like this will come back to you when they realise what they lost. Do not get fooled, once a cheater, always a cheater and she belongs to the streets. Good luck!
She has a personality disorder, being close to you she knows your insecurities and was saying everything she knew that would hurt you. It’s hard but don’t take it personally and move on from her, she needs professional help.
The one positive thing you can hopefully gather from this my dude is a hard lesson – why desperation is so bad. You were desperate, drove good and healthy women away and attracted someone who would take advantage of that.
In my case desperation led me into a faux online relationship with someone who actually already had a bf and then once she couldn’t keep up the facade threw the entire kitchen sink at me. I learned from that and am in a happy relationship now.
I hope the same will happen to you too.
This girl manipulated you. There are a lot out there that won’t and now you know what to look for. Get off your bum and get out there chatting with women. You will be okay buddy.
Honestly bro, 20 years old is the perfect time for those kinds of break ups, cuz it’s the perfect age we’re you can meet up tons of new people going out
What worked for me was eating healthy and boxing, doing that kept me humble for a couple of months and by the end of month 4 I felt fucking great and without even noticing it I was already seeing more girls and decided to stay with one I had a great connection with.
Basically you need to expuse yourself to hardship and then recover working on yourself and I guarantee you that you will be back in track without even noticing it.
Time will heal you and it’s going to be hard wit standing what you feel while time passes but that why you gotta work on your self while the healing process does it’s own thing.
Let me tell you one thing from my own experience. Bitter women will always try to put you down. I can guarantee she said that shit to mess with your mind.
You’re a doctor and she’s someone who needs help with everything in life. Its good she’s out of your life and hopefully you will meet someone who will truly appreciate you for you and your efforts. 5″9 is not even short.
I understand it will take time for you to regain confidence. I hope you seek out professional help if that need comes.
Tbh it sounds like it’s her problem that she gave up the buns to somebody she wasn’t attracted to. Take your W’s where you can get them and use this experience to inform how you can attract somebody in the future. Some of the sluttiest guys I know are around 5’9, and they can be that way because of their confidence even in spite of rejection. And if you’re a doctor, women will find you eligible regardless of your height because it’s a respected profession.