Genuinely, I am wondering because I don’t know if I should cut off my friendships with my male friends. I reach out 99% of the time, and ask to hang out, and we never do. It feels one-sided. And when they do text me it is usually when they need something. But at the same time, I hear that guys don’t like to text and just talk whenever they need something from you.. Isn’t that normal?
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I dont really do texting. My best friend is the only guy I text nowadays and even then I rather meet up or do a call at least.
My best friend is female, so I’m of no help in that regard; however, my male friends are generally quite inviting and reliable; however, I don’t necessarily text them as often but that’s not for any one specific reason other than our opportune times lining up because of obligations on both our parts.
Also… Get rid of your ambivalent friendships. They’ll slowly suck the will out of you. They are more taxing than toxic people simply because you don’t know where you stand and you’re always on edge. I’m not just saying that there are studies that have proven it. If you don’t know where you stand, and real effort has been made to figure that out, they gotta to go.
Im a gaming nerd so hanging out in discord is practically a daily. Bullshitting is the text channels when I’m not is not infrequent. I don’t know what other people do. Sounds like you don’t have that many similar interests to communicate about. No fault to either group.
Honestly, not that much any more, I hardly hear from any friends through txt or call.
“Friends” who usually just hit you up when they need something from you are called “acquaintances”. Real guy friends usually are those who don’t reach out much but feel like nothing’s changed between the relationship even though it’s been years since you last met.
My one group of friends all live 5+ hours apart so we text a few times a week in our group chat. We meet up once a year for a hunting trip over a weekend.
Used to be almost daily. These days, I haven’t spoken to another person other than my family since like… August.
Never, except for setting up when to meet, and that goes both ways. We don’t speak through app, we speak with eachother face to face.
Daily but out responses are sporadic because or work and family obligation’s. We chat on the phone maybe monthly.
2022 has been the year I stopped being friends with many of my male friends because I was so fed up of trying to make plans and they ever wanted to meet up etc because they claimed they were skint/broke/ had no money yet somehow found money for week of gambling.
In fact out of the many plans I tried to make with male friends, only 3 plans came to fruition. Totalling 3 people. So i have kept those friends but cut all other male friends out of my life completely and have received messages from some of them many months later and I just ignored them and blocked em. One did called me from another number and asked why I just stopped talking to them and i explained that I no longer want ti be friends with you because you never want to meet up or do anything and constantly cli you are skint. They got mad angry and said that’s because they are always skint, I told them that maybe you should try getting a better job then but even still we could of still meet up and down something that didn’t cost money but told em I’m not interested in being friends anymore.
This year the better friends that I have actually had and made have been with females and it’s been so refreshing because they actually contact me to make plans instead of the other way round and my best friend is female and we’ve definitely spent a lot of time together. She’s like a sister to me now and it’s great but I wish other people would stop saying that we are secretly dating etc or stop presuming we’re are sleeping together (as nice as that would be, I don’t think I would because I don’t wanna lose her as a friend).
Daily
Depends on the guy.
One of my closest friends? We only text to make plans. “drinks this friday?”
“Knock out a flatiron this weekend if the weather doesn’t suck?”
We get together once every couple of months
Another friend is also my gym partner/brewer teammate/substance experimentation/vacation/heterosexual life partner. We text, once again, strictly to either make, or confirm plans
Everyone in this equation all uses each other as well. We all helped each other with every move we had to do, every home project that takes more than 2 people. We all have communal tools so that we only have to buy 1/3 of a workshop. Most tasks end in celebration with food and drinks. There needs to be give and take, though. Otherwise there’s resentment like you feel.
Our wives are jealous of our relationship lol
We’re all in our mid-late 30’s
I’ve always wondered why but I haven’t had any male friends since I left my home country. At home it used to be 50/50. Since traveling and living abroad all my friends have been women. Right now I have 6 friends I regularly speak to. All guys that I could be friends with have relationships and don’t seem to have time for this.
Edit, I text or talk with my female friends regularly. There are guys that I see socially that I would consider friends when I met them randomly but I never text them to meet up. Maybe guys just don’t?
I have 3 friends in a group chat with me that we all use daily. I have 2 or 3 other guy friends that I’ll text throughout the week and also my fantasy football league that I chat in often during the season. I have plenty of guy friends that I hardly ever text or call but we’d both drop things to hang out when I travel back home. Some I wish I talked to more but long distance friendships can be hard to maintain.
I have one male friend I text every few weeks to say hi and catch up, or share something I found that I thought he’d appreciate. We’re good friends, even thousands of miles apart. Nothing more is needed.
Being a man is a tiring endeavor because we have to make the first contact. If someone *refuses* to reach out to you, they don’t want to be around you. Surround yourself in people who *want* to be around you.
That said, I only have one friend I’m in regular contact with, and it’s usually about video games.
My mate will ring whenever he is available to play videogames, other than that we are basically radio silent. If he didn’t have a partner organising social stuff regularly so we don’t have to then maybe we would reach out once a month to meet up at most.
Almost daily, sometimes I just need to shut myself out from everything for a day or two, but often I’ll just text them a handful of times over the day.
We MOSTLY use texting for making plans to hangout, or the occasional “how’s it going dude?” or “Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, etc…”
We generally prefer to talk face-to-face and we can have good long conversations when we’re together. But texting just doesn’t really do it for me… other than like I said… checking in every now and then and making plans.
Some of my friends, we go for days or weeks without any contact, depending on our schedules. But when we do get into contact it’s like we never stopped talking.
Most of my male friendships involve bonding over certain interests and hobbies.
I am usually the one that reaches out to people. Some friends I play video games with to stay in touch, and others just text regularly.
When you’re younger, there’s a ton going on between school/work/social life and gets harder to hang out. Also, everyone else has their own shit going on and not always in the mood to hang out.
Over time, your definition of friendship will change. It’s more than just doing things with people, but being there for each other and having each other’s backs when it’s needed.
But ya men in general are bad at talking seriously to other men. I forced myself to have a male therapist so I can get better at having a normal friendship with dudes and not just a group I hang out with and have fun occasionally.
Almost daily. Its a group text of shit talking and insults
my best friend and i text daily all the time we both initiate texting etc. Sometimes all day every day if we get on a roll. Can’t hang out though he lives on the west coast and me on teh east coast
If you guys don’t see each other in person often don’t listen to the people who tell you it’s normal to go lengthy periods of time without talking or texting your friends. Actual friendships require energy from both sides in order to keep them alive and healthy. I have 5-6 close friends from my school days that I still actively talk to. Some are daily, some weekly, some every few months. We don’t see each other in person more than a handful of times a year since we live far apart (welcome to your 30’s). The one good thing about Instagram is sending each other memes is an easy way to show someone you’re thinking about them and act as little conversation starters.
Now I will say the less in common you start to have with your friends (dating status, kids, career path, hobbies) the more likely it is your lives will diverge and you’ll end up talking less. But if you genuinely care about the person you’ll still find a way.
I text my best friend for Christmas and I got a “hail Satan motherfucker” reply… Can’t take him anywhere
Often. With my closest friends I see or text them close to daily if only briefly. My closest remote buddy I have ah good convo with weekly most of the time at minimum. I’m very extroverted and place an extremely high value on friendships, so YMMV I suppose!
My best friend and I live in different countries, literally on the opposite ends of the world. We still keep contact but because we both have our own lives and responsibilities of course we don’t have as much time as before to chat all the time. We check in each other maybe like a few months or so or when we have some personal stuff we want to share.
And sure us guys would rather talk in person rather than through text, especially when we need something. But from the sound of it, your friends are not worth your time. One-sided friendships aren’t friendships. If I were you I would look for new friends and stop messaging the current ones.
Every few weels or so, send them a meme or ask how they’re, discussing future plans and all that. Let people know that you’re thinking about them.
For the majority of my friends, I would usually speak to them a couple of times a week/every other week etc. depending on how close we are
But with my best friend, weirdly, we just message each other constantly, it’s how we communicate. Drives my fiancée insane lol as we’re always messaging each other . We rarely speak on the phone
350 days of the year at least
Depends. For one group, there’s small talk in the group chat every few days. An actual conversation once a week. Maybe a one-on-one every month or two or when something important comes up. Hang when we can but that’s only once or twice a year with everyone spread across the country. The important bit is we all know we’re there for each other if any one of us needs something.
For another it’s banter on Discord about whatever (mostly) gaming news we saw on Reddit or Twitter and the occasional drink when he’s home from the road. Sometimes hop in VC if I’m on while he’s driving.
Overall I think the main bit is the ability to just vibe together and a willingness to respect and support each other through the bullshit. (And call each other out on shit that oughtn’t be supported.)
I have a few people I get together with to watch sports and we rarely text beyond that.
It depends on how you view friendship.
I have very few because too many people backstabbed me so I cut everyone out.