it has only been four days we started talking and he keeps telling me he loves me, calls me babe (2 days in we met–) wants a relationship already, talks about future, even though i told him i’d like to know him as a person first and overtime. he also keeps complimenting me, especially my appearance. and there was a weird moment where he made me feel guilty for something i have never done, and gave me silent treatment and when i asked him why he wasn’t talking to me he acted like nothing happened. the person seems very nice but i feel like something is off and excuse me please, like there’s some kind of agenda behind all of this?? it also doesn’t feel “lovey” but rather off. what do you think? tysm. 💗
49 comments
Trust your instincts.
It doesn’t sound like a good start and you should probably cut your losses now.
🚩🚩🚩 4 days:
1. He already make you feel bad about something.
2. Your guts are telling you something is off
3. Despite telling him to slow down he stills goes on about talking about future and calling you love, babe… Etc
Just RUN
Love bombing or immaturity. Neither are worth dealing with.
Cut your losses, block him, and hope he never returns. He is lovebonbing and gaslighting you after four days, it only gets worse from the beginning.
Classic love bombing
YES IT IS.
Who the hell says they love you after knowing you for less than a week? And the guilt tripping and the silent treatment (NOPE) and then pretending all is well? Manipulation to keep you off balance.
Every single thing you’ve listed screams RUN. AWAY. Every. Single. Thing.
This guy sounds immature, and is definitely love bombing. He shouldn’t be making you feel guilty either. You can do better for sure
Red flags. Run
Definitely, how can you truly love someone in two days?
can yall check out my post pls i cant sleep bc of it
Either they’re emotionally dumb as rocks (and not ready for a relationship) or they’re manipulative.
The making you feel guilty and coming back as if nothing happened is concerning imo, everything else could be chalked up to moving way too fast and being immature but his silent treatment and no acknowledgement of it leans me towards he’s not going to very nice later on, and he knows it.
Trust your gut, I see no loss in ditching the guy.
So sorry, yeah that’s not healthy.
yeah, be careful
From someone who got sucked into a marriage with a narcissistic, abusive person please take it from me- what you’re experiencing is definitely love bombing. This much of drama and declarations of love and guilt tripping are not normal for a mere 4 days. Please cut your losses and leave now.
He loves you after 2 days, just start running, hard, pounding those buster browns
🚩🚩🚩
Yes that’s love bombing, always trust your gut if it’s feels like it’s uncomfortable move on. It’s telling you something is really wrong with that dude deep down.
Definitely love bombing. Everything must be about him and his feelings. No concern for yours. Your feelings on being in a relationship or not doesn’t matter. He wants that. Get out now while you can.
Yes
Trust your gut, its not normal to start saying i love you after barely knowing someone a week. Red flags all.over.
leave now to prevent a nightmare later
Yes.
I have been through it. Run.
Yes it’s lovebombing. You shouldn’t be telling someone you love them until around 6 months of being official. Run like Tony Soprano ran from the FBI.
I also feel like something is off here. Too many red flags – RUN!
These behaviors the typical profile of a codependent abuser. The idea is to draw you in quickly and hard, to make you feel responsible for their feelings, and then when they know you’re reeled in, the cycle of abuse begins. They don’t necessarily consciously know they’re doing this, which is why they seem “nice” on the surface. But they’re actually needy, dysfunctional mess, lacking boundaries or impulse control.
Dump and block ASAP. No good relationship ever starts this way.
This is already quite troubling
Dam trust your gut on this one. Him telling you he loves you 2 day in is not a good start. Good luck
Run 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ cut him clean off and walk away ! Sounds a dangerous situation
Run.
2 days in? Who’s he? Ted Mosby?
Don’t go with him, he seems like he just wants to somewhat abuse someone example 1. -he made you feel bad about something already and y’all have known each other for 4 days
2. He knows he’s a bad person cause he doesn’t want to open up anything (doesn’t talk to you or if he does it’s about how he ‘loves you’)
Trust your gut dude
Run! But please keep us updated.
This is textbook lovebombing. Next it will be, “is [xyz’s] [birthday party/baby shower/special event] more important than spending time with me?!”
Run. Already giving you silent treatment and for something you didn’t do? This is way too much for someone you’ve known for 4 days.
You can’t trust the judgement of someone who says I love you in 2 days. He knows nothing about you and you know nothing about him!
He is both trying to tie you to him, as well as testing how much crap you will take by giving you silent treatment for things you never did. RUN
Girl, run.
trust ya instincts OP. You two aren’t married thank god
I always hope people who act like this (now-blocked ex-bf of four days) read these posts and some self-actualization happens. Already giving silent poopoo pants treatment for perceived (made-up) hurt! Ewwww fuck right off thank you. Nice job OP. Tell him too, he needs to hear why and maybe get emotional help. Attachment problem is big w him.
Yo, run. Do not look back. Just run. Anyone that off the deep end so early is like being a sailor and seeing a crusty looking ship with a big jolly Roger flag sailing towards you. I fell victim to love bombing once, and that girl turned out to be one of the worst human beings I’ve ever met. It’s happening to a friend of mine now too. RUN.
Anyone who tries to reel you in that fast clearly needs to do so before their true self comes out.
Yep. Classic pattern. I’d close that book quick.
My biggest piece of advice is, TRUST YOUR GUT. Trust me on this one.
> calls me babe
I don’t know why but this is a giant pet peeve of mine. If I dated anyone that referred to me as babe at any point I would probably break up with them on the spot.
When I hear couples call eachother “babe” I don’t know what it is, it’s just like nails on a chalkboard to me.
Beware! Beware! Beware! Four days’ acquaintance and two days after meeting is not a basis for “love” and plans for the future. You are absolutely right when you question this guy’s agenda. Guilt trips and the silent treatment during the first few days of getting to know someone? Imagine how badly he’ll act when he’s not on his so-called best behavior. You know what you need to do. Don’t hesitate.
RUN. Block this person. This is all awful and not only love bombing, this is the entire stock of the red flags already:
– Doesn’t respect you that you told him that you need time and wants a relationship already and wants to talk about “the future” already. Even though you told him that you do not. Your words are just noise to him, he doesn’t even listen to what you want or how you want to pace getting to know each other
– He makes you feel guilty about stuff you didn’t do
– Gives you the silent treatment, which is a form of abuse
– Pretends to be very nice but then confuses you… this is abusive tactics 101
Yes there is an agenda, he’s searching for someone to confuse, isolate, put in an inferior position by creating guilt about nothing at all, put in an inferior position by not even listening to words the other person says, and in general, try to “own” a person so he can be totally abusive to. Block him, no explanations needed, and if he’s in a group of mutual friends, or if you know people who might know him, warn other people about him. He’s looking for a victim.
Please run, even if this leads to a relationship I’m so confident it will lead to a messy breakup. He is either manipulative or HIGHLY emotional, neither of which you want. Best case scenario, he is not being manipulative on purpose, but even in that case, you deserve better. Your scenario sounds a lot like one of my past ones, and it was the biggest dumpster fire of my life. Detach yourself from him and slowly cut him off.
ew yeah run, please run. i was like 23 and soooo so naive when i met a guy like this and he called me his girlfriend after like 2 dates without even talking to me about it and i was so uncomfortable but my friends kept telling me that it was sweet and why was i complaining he was trying to be serious with me, isnt that what i wanted, etc. listen to your gut and run now. i dated that guy for 10 horrible months and he stalked me for 5 years afterwards until i could afford to move.
He sounds like a psychopath
You may want to move on
Run. Run far away. People who do this are doing so intentionally because they know they have to reel you in fast before you realize how toxic they are and by the time you realize it you’re so tangled up that it’ll be difficult and draining to untangle. Run
He could be a very nice person, but what you’ve described sounds like he’s someone that has a cluster B personality disorder. Save yourself the pain and turmoil and just cut the loss now.