Summary of my dating in 2022. Mostly friendzoned. Appreciate any advice

Hi everyone,

It is a long post.

I (M 37, 5’6, straight) have been a very late bloomer without any dating experience. I have been on dating apps for nearly one year. Here is a summary of all the dates I have been to. Just to be clear, I don’t keep a dating diary but I do keep a clear record of all expenses, which is why I managed to create this table.

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|*Matches*|*Platform (number of dates I went on with the match)*|*Outcome*|
|:-|:-|:-|
|Match 1|Hinge (2)|**First**: dinner and arcade games; they paid; Second: a movie and beer, which I paid; then I got ghosted. No regrets as our values differed.|
|Match 2|Hinge (1)|Coffee and walk in a garden/park; I paid; they politely rejected it since I didn’t have experience with dogs|
|Match 3|Tinder (1)|Arcade games followed by beer and food. I politely rejected it since they had kids and didn’t disclose it on the profile.|
|Match 4|Tinder (2)|**First**: beer and I paid; **Second**: beer/snacks and they paid; friendly vibes and became good friends. We still regularly meet.|
|Match 5|Tinder (1)|Ice cream date; I paid; we both rejected each other.|
|Match 6|Tinder (3)|**First**: beer I paid; **Second**: beer and food: they paid; **Third**: basketball game, I paid. They rejected.|
|Match 7|Hinge (1)|Coffee; I paid; We both rejected each other.|
|Match 8|Hinge (1) – ticked all boxes|Farmer’s market and a summer festival; I paid; They rejected.|
|Match 9|Hinge (2) – ticked all boxes|**First**: coffee and a walk in a park; I paid. **Second**: beer and food; they paid. Friendly vibes; we still meet sometimes|
|Match 10|Hinge (3)|**First**: a walk in a park; **Second**: dinner and stargazing with some cuddling; I paid. **Third**: lunch I paid. I rejected it since they had STIs.|
|Match 11|Bumble (1)|Coffee and a walk in a park; I paid. Got ghosted|
|Match 12|Hinge (1) – ticked all boxes|Coffee and a walk in a park; I paid. They rejected it.|
|Match 13|Tinder (1)|Beer and food; I paid. Got ghosted.|

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My learnings:

* For a man, getting quality matches ( a mix of physical, professional, and intellectual attraction; no kids, no drugs, no smoking) has been difficult. I target those that I feel are within my league – neither high nor low. I prefer more geeky profiles.
* Being from South Asia, things have been even more challenging. On Hinge, after sending 100 likes, I get 1 or 2 matches, and most of the time, they don’t respond. Also, I never had any pets, so it becomes an issue too for some matches. I have a good education background and a reasonable earning but I am new to the country and almost starting over, so not having a car and house sucks. I will soon get a car though.
* I keep it simple (often coffee and walk; beer; most expenses between $10-30 per date). Except for three matches, I never felt much vibes so getting ghosted or rejected didn’t hurt. Instead, I focused on improving myself.
* I genuinely felt vibes only three times since they ticked all checkboxes but I was friendzoned. Somehow I keep giving friendly vibes even on 2nd dates. Maybe I lack flirting skills or am afraid to escalate (holding hands or physical touch). Also, on dates, I often talk about nerdy/geeky stuff, including politics. They take interest in my work and I explain in detail. I do take a significant interest in their work and what they do, but I feel it becomes dry for them.
* Getting friendzoned a few times is okay. I made a couple of good friends, which somewhat helps me to navigate life in a new country.
* For almost all first dates, I paid and they always appreciated it. For most dates that turned into the 2nd date, girls paid. All rejections were polite and respectful with standard reasoning (didn’t feel it or friendly vibes, etc.). Got ghosted a couple of times.

Any advice on how I can improve and learn? I need to convert dry talk into something more interesting (maybe flirting or escalating) and avoid getting friendzoned.

TLDR: went on many dates this year and improved my social skills and overcame my anxiety. Still, almost all the time, I gave friendly vibes. Looking for advice.