I’m not asking him to book a venue or put in money, just that if we are supposed to plan a party around having a union, it would be cool to include him and his passions.
Unfortunately, he seems to mostly not like my ideas, but not have his own ideas.
What could make this fun or engaging (pun intended) for him to talk about?
Edit: I have offered him the courthouse option. He wants a wedding and he wants to do a small, inexpensive thing with 50 people. It’s literally all of the other details from the date to what kind of food he wants that I would love input on.
21 comments
Maybe he doesn’t want a wedding?
Talk about how much it’s gonna cost if you do it your way.
Why does it have to include his passions? It’s a party, order some drink packages, order a band, put on some food. It’s an afternoons work tops.
Women just like to make it more complicated than it has to be. He’s probably not bothered either way. Just do what YOU want.
Honestly the wedding is something a woman is primed to look forward to, it’s a party to celebrate the bride
On a cultural level men see it as work and we simply will not care as much as women do about it
#FUCK ALL THAT!
Fuck weddings, fuck rings, and fuck blowing a ton of money on what’s gonna likely just turn into a divorce 10 years down the line!
No rings, courthouse that shit! You don’t like it? Fine, go away! I’ll find someone else! I can start again, what’s it matter to me?
Ngl to you lady wedding planning sounds like the most lamest crap ever
If I were your fiance then I wouldn’t be for long because of how clear I would be on how much I don’t care
It would be like arguing against an angry wall that will not budge.
I would end the engagement just to prove to you how much you should leave me alone
Planning weddings is kinda a girl thing (<- invitation for people who feel the need to argue with every general statement on reddit, “mY hUsBaNd LoVeD pLaNnInG aRe WeDdInG”. I didn’t mean every guy on the planet hates wedding planning I’m just saying in general it’s something guys aren’t intofffffffffffffffffffff)
Either leave him alone, find a different guy, or keep getting mad because he doesn’t show interest in the same things as you
My guy probably cares about the football game more than the whole wedding planning process
A lot of men simply don’t care or have had their ideas shutdown so many times that they just say do whatever because it makes life easier in situations like this.
You could try and find some examples and ask him what he likes about each one
This post makes me so mad, this is why I could never date a girl like you
I wish I was dating you myself so that you could truly know the depths of how much I don’t give a fuck about your little show to celebrate you
“yOu’D tHiNk He’D cArE aBoUt HiS oWn WeDdInG”
I would deliberatly sabotage the wedding.
Why are you picking a fight over wedding planning? Why are you making this an issue
Why are you bringing this monster out of me?
(Lol I’m kidding this post is a joke, but still you should be grateful your husband is nicer and less stubborn than I am, at least he’s PRETENDING, I wouldn’t even bother pretending, I would actively make my disgust known, we would definitely be arguing)
Oh dear god no. What’s the point? The women will just over ride and redo everything anyway
If my guy truely with all his heart wanted a GREEN BAY PACKERS wedding would you let him have it?
No?
See why even pretend like this is even a thing for him when you’re the one who controls it all.
Can I dress up as the joker with you dressed as Harley Quinn?
No? Than why even ask my opinion? Screw your wedding, I don’t like any of your friends.
Youre dress looks ugly
Put him in charge of specific things he’s likely to care about more than you.
Set exact target dates to have certain deliverables met (eg: narrowed down to 3 choices, final pick made, contract signed, etc)
Tell him that if he doesn’t help you make decisions you’re going to make choices you know he’ll hate.
This worked on me. Wife threatened me with a Fairy-core/Boho wedding theme until I agreed to get involved.
Tell your guy that you want him to pick out some of the things that you know he’ll be interested in (like food), and tell him you trust him to absolutely knock it out of the park, but that you’re there to support him if he needs anything or wants a second opinion. Basically, treat him the way he’s probably treating you.
You’ll probably still run most of the wedding, but he’ll (hopefully) enjoy getting to have some fun too and feel more inclined to take a more active supporting role for the things he isn’t as interested in. Just be sure you’re comfortable handing over the reins to him, because if you backtrack and endlessly tweak his decisions you’ll just make him dislike the whole thing. There’s a big difference between (for example) asking him to go over the menu with you and offering your honest feedback without expecting change, and telling a guy to basically guess what you would like to eat that night.
It would also help to (very occasionally) encourage him to actively try things that he might be interested in. For example, if he wants a certain dish, encourage him to try cooking it (or have it cooked, or cook it together) and then you can both sit down and try it together and go over it. It makes a great little date-night, and it helps to really get him engaged.
Note: I am a young, unmarried man, but this is how I would feel comfortable contributing to a wedding. I hope it helps in at least some capacity.
Also note: It would help immensely if you could give him a very basic guideline of what you want theme-wise. If you want a posh, fancy, formal wedding with fancy cups and fine dining, or a comfy rustic wedding with hearty meals and an open bar, or whatever. Just try and convey it as simply as possible so he can know roughly what sort of things might fit in, instead of worrying about whether he’s doing okay.
I got the either or game. Which came some solid choices and ideas. Do you want chicken wings or strips? Inside or outside? For rehearsal dinner. Bar food or fancy dinner?
It helped open up the conversation. I gave answers and ideas and it helped a lot. She knew I wasn’t going to be much help since it was in hometown.
Don’t judge or insult our ideas and then run with that as a way of demeaning men as idiots that have no clue.
We’re not usually raised with wedding plans running through our heads.
He’s worried that if he says anything, you’ll resent him.
Many men stay out of the wedding planning for fear of pissing off the bride
I don’t think you’re going to get a serious answer that will actually help you. Weddings are a girl thing, not a guy thing.
For girls, the wedding day is the most memorable day of her life. Every girl, starting maybe a few minutes after her umbilical cord is cut, wants to have the biggest wedding with the most guests, the most flowers, the prettiest church, the perfect-est reception hall and the most of that white mosquito netting stuff covering every square millimetre of everything. It’s like having the most of all of the above means they’re somehow more married than everyone else, and they want (and adamantly expect) everything to be perfect on that day.
For a guy, attending a wedding (even his own) is like being called up for jury duty. Most of us miss the days when the entire ceremony consisted of simply clubbing a girl over the head and dragging her back to our cave.
We did pictures. She had ideas of what she wanted and had them in a binder and I just went through each section with her and we narrowed down what we liked. Also there might be things he just doesn’t care ether way. I like a particular flower for sentimental reasons but he may not care. Take that into consideration when doing some things.
Lol why would you marry a guy you cant communicate with properly how he should be helping you plan YOUR Wedding???? Its both of yours wedding …
Men don’t give a shiiiit about the wedding. Its YOUR day, we have been made fully aware of this fact since we were six.
Just give him a list of shit to do that involves power tools if possible.
As someone once said…
“We do not care.”