Hi all! I (21F) matched with a guy (22M) less than a week ago. I usually like to meet earlier rather than later but because of the holidays, we plan to meet afterwards. In the past few days since arranging the meeting, he’s been making me a bit uncomfortable.
I like compliments every now and then. They feel a lot more meaningful that way, but he compliments me every few sentences. Like for example while sending snaps back and forth, I’ll ask what he’s upto and he’ll say stuff like “looking into your gorgeous eyes.” He likes the fact I have red hair and brings it up all the time. He’s started calling me cutie. Every second sentence is how cute/beautiful/adorable he thinks I am and it’s too much. It doesn’t feel real and I don’t even know what to say besides thank you. I wouldn’t even want my boyfriend complimenting me this much.
He also replies back instantly (like within a minute) and if I don’t respond after say about 2 hours, he’ll send another snap.
I don’t know if this is an attempt at love bombing or maybe he just doesn’t realise it’s too much. I mean we haven’t even met. He’s told me he’s been in a relationship before so idk if I can put it down to him just being completely inexperienced.
6 comments
He’s inexperienced, and listening to some very bad advice.
Nah just wait couple more girls like you and he’ll quickly come around to being one of those uncaring, uncompromising douchie guys y’all can’t stand but always date. Than after you go through 3 or 4 more guys im sure you’ll sit down and think to yourself why isn’t there any good fellas left.
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I don’t think it’s necessarily lovebombing so much as lack of restraint. He’s giving you all his impulsive thoughts without thinking about time and place, so that’s a bit of a concern that he’s a bit anxious and maybe insecure.
I don’t think it’s a red flag, but if it bothers you just tell him you want that kinda talk to come later and not this early.
He sounds really clingy, people like that are a total turn off for me. If he’s this clingy before even meeting you, it won’t get any better after the date. You just need to decide if you want to deal with this or not, you can call off the date if he’s not your type.
Owww… i like red hair girls, personal preference. Not all of them but when i look at my type they usually red heads.
So sometimes I let them know. Alsooo, sometimes if I find you super attractive Ill mention it. I think mentioning is better than “totally cold”
But not sure whats too much. I mean does every single message from him contains compliments?
The safest way to calm him down is maybe to not acknowledge his compliments too much at times. Or just start totally different reply. Not connected to the compliment.
He could be just genuinely super attracted to you, I can be like this at times. And tunnel vissioned.