Hi everyone,
I’m seeking some advice about a situation with my girlfriend. She has a new group of friends who are all guys, and she spends a lot of time with them. However, she has never mentioned to any of them that she has a boyfriend. I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable about this and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if this is a red flag.
On one hand, I trust my girlfriend and I don’t think she would cheat on me. But on the other hand, it feels strange that she hasn’t mentioned me to this group of friends that she spends so much time with, even staying up with late on call and things. I’m not sure if I should bring this up with her or if I’m just being insecure.
Does anyone have any advice or perspective on this situation? Am I right to be concerned or am I overthinking things?
Just to clear some things up, this has been happening for about 2-3 months now and it is mostly online although they have done a few meet ups. We have been dating for almost a year, so much longer then this friend group. The group is about 7 guys and her.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice you may have.
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TL;DR: Am I been to untrusting for wanting my girlfriend to tell others that she has a boyfriend
5 comments
Your gf has “orbiters”, guys who are hanging around looking for their shot. If things go south with the two of you, she can easily wave one (or more) of them in for a landing.
If they were just an online group who play games together I can see how the topic might not have come up by now. But they get together irl as well and must talk about their lives even a little bit, it feels like after 2-3 months she’s just avoiding mentioning you on purpose.
All you can do is ask her about it, there’s nothing wrong with that
Holy raindeer.
You’re right. She would never cheat on you. Nothing weird to your girl hanging out with 7 guys on a regular basis. Not sharing her relationship status is because you’re so special to her.
I agree that it is weird and not ideal (and pretty troubling) that anyone with a boyfriend or girlfriend for one year or more has not told close friends about that boyfriend or girlfriend. If I were the girlfriend, I would have a huge problem with it.
I would ask her why she has done this (or, more correctly, NOT done this). I cannot imagine any answer which would be good enough to make me change my mind about it being a bad idea about how she is handling this. I can’t imagine what justification she would have which would be a good reason. And, if she doesn’t understand that, I would question her judgment about all sorts of topics.
How did you find this out? Did *she* tell you this? Did you ask or did she say it out of nowhere?