First off I want to preface this with some background info in that I really do care about and love this girl but her 2 friends to put it bluntly are awful people. Last time I was out with her and them her friends decided it was a good idea to just randomly beat up her ex while me and her were driving over to start the night after I got off work. So it’s safe to say that I absolutely do not trust them.

On to the crux of the situation, I haven’t really seen my SO in two weeks. Now there is many factors that have prevented me from seeing her, the main two being that she has a kid and got a job recently. Both of those I can understand and have been supportive of as obviously the kid takes priority over everything else and she hasn’t had a job in years so is strapped for cash. I will say that she has been saying that her kids been getting too attached to me which I just brushed off in the past as she’s had terrible choices in partners, but now just heightens my paranoia about everything.

Recently though she told me that she went out with her friends to drink/do karaoke instead of coming over for Christmas after I invited her. I feel very slighted by this cause she’s actively chose her friends over me after constant troubles trying to even see her and her always saying “when I have some free time”.

I don’t know if I’m being possessive, insecure, or have a genuine grievance. How should I go about this? I’ll give any additional info needed if asked I just need some advice!!!

18 comments

  2. Sounds like you should talk to her. Seems unfortunate that she picked her friends over you, but although your hurt feelings are understandable, it’s ultimately just one occasion… and something you could probably resolve with a little communication.

  4. Her friends come before you. Do you want that? Going out drinking while broke? Reg flags everywhere.

  5. Insecure? Nope. Maybe you’re more invested in this relationship than she is, and her friends sound horrible. Actions always speak louder than words. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate this relationship and your expectations.

  6. Comments are addressing the major points and I hope you are able to do what’s best for you.

    But you need to rethink this whole, “she’s a good girl with friends that are terrible people”. She chooses them. She is one of them. If you think her friends are awful, she is, too. Stop giving her the benefit of the doubt just because when she’s with you she usually behaves better. One of the best ways to define people is through their friends–who they choose to invest in and support.

  7. If someone wants to spend time with you, they will. You are not a priority for her. Might be time to move on.

  8. You’re not being insecure you genuinely want to spend time with her shes got kids and just got a job recently after being unemployed for years? Then goes out drinking instead of spending Christmas with you you’re 28 quit wasting your time on this girl

  9. The next time she asks you a question don’t answer. When she follows up, tell her you’re busy you’ll get back to her.

    Don’t be unkind. Just don’t be available yet.

  10. No, you are not being possessive or insecure. If your girlfriend puts little or no effort into seeing you and building the relationship, then she really isn’t your GF at all. You.are in love, while she sees you as a FWB. You should prepare yourself for a life without her.

  11. She is showing you who she is by her actions. Don’t trust her words, that is all they are, trust her actions and it is obvious that she isn’t commited to you. Do you want to drag out this drama for the foreseeable future? Just end it and find someone that prioritises your relationship.

  18. If someone calls you insecure for wanting to spend time with them especially on Christmas, you are putting in more effort than they are.

    Return the favor and tell them goodbye.

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