How to make friends when everyone thinks they’re better than you

23m, wardrobe is improving, continuously working on my social skills. In high school I was too nerdy for most people, but not nerdy enough for the nerds. I was an athlete then so that was really my only way to socialize.

In college I really struggled, most people look at me like they’re better than me, and I just don’t get it. Most people don’t seem that special, so I don’t know what they see in themselves that makes them proud enough to look down on me.

I don’t know why this always happens to me. No one else has to fight for acceptance, and everyone else can easily find people who want them around, but I can’t. I always have to be amazing, as if I’m compensating for some sort of ugliness that I can’t see or comprehend.

I got invited to a New Year’s Eve party by an old friend, it’ll mostly be high school people there, and I can’t see anything but the worst happening, despite all my improvements.