I (22 M) have been dating my gf (20 F) for a year and a half now. I wanna know how I can comfort her better bc the holidays are hard for her. I’m a couple hours away from her as I’m spending time with my family for the holidays. For context, I come from a close family and have a big extended family as well on both sides. The holidays are a time when we all gather. Meanwhile, my gf comes from a small and not so close family. Her dad left 3 years ago and before that he was constantly in and out of her life. Her brother now spends almost all his time during the holidays with his gf and her family, so it’s usually just her mom, her, and her grandma. I’m a very physically affectionate person and I’m not great with words. Lately she’s been down and taking me how lonely she feels not having her family and me around for the holidays. She said me spending time with my family doesn’t help the situation since I’m basically rubbing in her face how close my family is. I just wanna know how I can better comfort her?
TL:DR : my gf is upset she isn’t spending the holidays with her family and feels alone. How can I help make her feel better?
3 comments
Why didn’t you invite her along?
Hey! It’s really nice that you want to be there for your girlfriend during this hard time, and it’s definitely tough since you can’t physically be there (it makes sense that you’d each go see your own fams!)
The best thing you can do is listen to her. Be a safe space for her to vent, be sad, etc. Don’t immediately try to solve any problems.
Don’t vaguely ask “anything I can do?” This is of course a kind thing to ask but it puts the pressure on someone to come up with what would make them feel better (which they may not know).
Instead just make sure she knows she can talk to you about it. Also, make an effort to understand how she feels and why. Everyone loves to feel understood.
Lastly, it’s okay if she’s sad and lonely. Even jf she’s sad and lonely every year. It’s not a reflection on you as a boyfriend or your ability to comfort her. It doesn’t mean you’re not doing a good job.
Hope this helps!
I think it might be nice to celebrate again when you both return, so that she will see that you try to cheer her up and also might think that it is not necessary to have too much people to have a good holiday.