My (20F) boyfriend (26M) of one and half years is the only guy I’ve ever had sex with. Despite him being absolutely amazing from the get-go, I dreaded sex up until about half a year ago.

Now I’m horny 24/7 and always DTF – only with him, of course. I don’t have the desire to have sex with other guys. And even if I’m tired/ stressed/ sad/ angry/ whatever.

So I was wondering if this is just how things are at this age for women (general discourse is that our libidos aren’t as high as men’s, I guess) or if I simply have a higher sex drive. Just curious because I hope to stay this way, more or less, as I age. I can’t see myself not having sex, for example, for months on end.

8 comments
  1. You have roughly 30 years till your libido or his libido is affected significantly enough to not have sex for months on end.

  2. Every person is different. No one can answer this. Having children, going on certain medications, hitting menopause etc. there could be a variety of things that may affect your libido as you age.

  3. Everyone is Different but I will say honey I am in the same Boat. Me 23 and my fiance 20 met a Year and a 1/2 ago and he was my First. Since then my sex drive is Pretty high while his is at a more mellow level.

    It is Rumored that Sex drive does Drive down as you get older, but I believe that is a generalization based on the deteriorating function of the reproductive system over time. Basically what I’m saying is, You may always have a higher sex drive lol ☺️👍

  4. My wife’s (F69) libido was pretty level until a year or so ago when some meds crashed it. She is working with her doctors on changing meds to resolve it.

    My (M65) libido is normally very high. It was permanently killed by a reaction to a med. it’s now restored thanks to hormone pellets which I will be on for the rest of my life.

  5. I’ve had partners throughout the lifespan (I’m 55 and started having sex at 17) and there’s a huge degree of variability as to when sex drive peaks, how long it peaks, and how it changes. I’ve had five or six exceptional partners who were clearly peaking when we were together, one was 19 when I was 19, one was 33 when I was 22, one was 25-26 when I was 26-27, one was 31 when I was 51, one was 56 when I was 54 and my current GF is 54. Each of them said they were at their sexual peak while we were together.

    There’s just no way to know when you’ll peak, but a lot of women don’t really hit their stride until mid-20s to mid-30s… for others it’s after they’ve been divorced and finally have a chance to explore with someone other than the father of their children.

  6. Everyone has their own experience. Work/life stress, medical issues, medication, hormones…..many things can play into a person’s sex drive.

    I had a fairly high sex drive in my teens and early 20s and it dipped and nearly disappeared in my late 20s to early 30s for a variety of reasons.

    Then sort of returned to baseline as I approached 40, got even higher and now leveling off again as I get older.

    It’s not something you can predict.

  7. >Should I expect my sex drive to stay roughly the same as I age?

    The best way I can put this:

    You should be *prepared* for it to change but that’s not the same thing as *predicting” how/when it will.

    There are any number of things that can/will impact libido over a life course:

    * trauma/depression/anxiety
    * pregnancy/childbirth
    * work/school/family stress
    * health issues
    * and eventually: perimenopause

    Note: with the exception of the last one, the rest all apply to men as well. Human libidos, regardless of sex, aren’t calibrated to run on some consistent standard. They can/will change but like I said, it can be very hard to predict how/when.

    It’s also worth noting that the two of you are at an early stage in your relationship, especially the “I’m horny all the time” stage. Just six months.

    That will likely fade eventually because the more familiar we become with our partners, the more sex shifts from being driven by adrenaline (excitement) to oxytocin (bonding). It’s not that adrenaline sex disappears completely; it’s one reason why couples experiment or try to discover their kinks, as a way to keep that feeling of novelty and excitement high. But for most long-term couples, that bonding kind of sex becomes more and more of a norm too. It’s literally natural.

    The thing to keep in mind too is that sexual boredom can set in with any relationship, no matter how hot and heavy people are with one another in the beginning. For women, in particular, they’re more likely to get bored earlier than their male partners (again, this is a generalization, not a statement of absolute fact). You’re really young, all said, but still, you can read “Mating in Captivity” (Perel) as one take on how sex in relationships can shift over time.

  8. No, it’s very common for libido to wax and wane over the years, for a lot of different reasons.

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