My girlfriend and I went back to our different hometowns to spend time with family for Christmas. Earlier today she called me to tell me that she was going to the movies with her family and that she was driving back to the town we live in now after the movie gets out. While there, she called me again to tell me that her cousin had mentioned that they had seen her ex who she was previously married to and cheated on going to his seat with his brother. She had mentioned earlier in the week that her ex had just broken up with his girlfriend and that she felt sad for him. I told her not to worry about it and to enjoy the movie, after which I went to the gym to get a workout in. We texted back and forth a couple times and suddenly she stopped responding. After I got done at the gym I checked my phone and saw she still hadn’t responded, which I originally thought just meant that she was tired and had started the drive back home. We have shared locations with each other so I checked it to see if she was on the road back home and saw that her location showed her at a house a few blocks from the theater.
About 4 hours after our last text convo she called me and said that she had just gotten out of the movie. I joked a bit and mentioned that it must have been a long movie, which she responded by saying that it lasted that long with commercials. I know movies have intro previews but I haven’t seen any movies at the theaters that have commercials in them past that (let me know if this is different for you). I asked what had happened in the movie and she couldn’t give me much info and that I’d have to go see it for myself. After this she mentioned that she was really stressed and refused to tell me what it was about, then hung up immediately without saying anything.
She had mentioned before that she has cheated in past relationships and can be very flirtatious with other guys even while I’m around. She has a lot of guy friends that she texts and messages on instagram and stapchat and gets very defensive anytime I ask what her friends are up to. I realize this is a big red flag but have decided to give it the benefit of the doubt as she had mentioned she wanted to do this relationship right.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to go about this situation please let me know.
Tldr; I think my girlfriend cheated on me with her ex while back home from Christmas.
7 comments
>she had mentioned before that she has cheated in past relationships
History repeats and you have proof she went to a house nearby the theatre for hours.
>I realize this is a big red flag but have decided to give it the benefit of the doubt as she had mentioned she wanted to do this relationship right. If anyone has any suggestions on how to go about this situation please let me know.
This isn’t a red flag. This is an in-your-face situation where she’s lied and you have proof.
The best route? Sit her down and tell her you know. You have her phone location during the time in question. You also know she’s cheated previously and this looks like history repeating.
Be prepared for her to lie and gaslight…
you already know then answer.
Dude your going to loose a lot of weight if you continue to assume, when she’s not around. Just pray history doesn’t repeat itself.
She’ll get caught if she thinks she’s smart
You know she was at a house for hours. Why didn’t you just tell her you knew that? It’s time to have an open conversation and probably end the relationship. People flirt with me or whatever, even an ex, but if I’m with someone I don’t engage. It’s disrespectful to my partner and I enter all relationships with respect and the idea that this may be my final relationship. My ex husband cheated on me and would say shit like your gf, but even he wasn’t dumb enough to say that a theatre movie had commercials. He would just say he watched 3 movies or something, but he would pay with shared debit card and I knew. I was just too scared for a long time due to abuse. You aren’t in such a situation (I hope) and can leave freely, so leave. Find a woman who is faithful. If she cheated with you she will cheat on you.
The whole situation around her being at a house for a prolonged period of time is quite damning. I’m not a fan of the whole sharing location thing, feel like you should be able to trust your partner. However, in this case, it sounds like it has proven to be very effective
At the very least, your gf is lying to you but then there would be no good explanation as to why that is happening.
You mentioned the biggest red flag towards the end of your post. Sure, she may have cheated on others in the past but that doesn’t guarantee that she will do now, or in the future. However, her flirting with others even when you’re there goes to show that she may not really be great girlfriend material just now. She’s 22, likely at the peak of her attraction and getting lots of attention from the opposite sex and she may be borderline addicted to that and seeking more and more of it. At the very least, it’s very disrespectful to be flirting with other men around her boyfriend. I doubt that you flirt with other women in front of her, and you will still find other women attractive.
I am sorry, I do think she may have cheated on you during that period of time in that house. Or maybe spent time with someone else without necessarily cheating but then that is not exactly ideal either
Oh ok so you are the passive beta that accepts her excuses for cheating and still wants her in your life. Well then you sir deserve to be cheated on until you can grow a spine
The new avatar movie is like 3 and a half hours long. Now that that is out of the way.
Dude you deserve better than her. Tell her you know and that you’re done with her. She’ll probably cry and beg but she made her bed and she has to lay in it (spoiler alert: it won’t be empty for long)
You are the one who got in to a relationship with a known cheater. This is why you shouldn’t. You can’t trust them. Now you have to live with your decision.