So, I’m a 15 year old male with pretty severe social anxiety. There’s been this person that I’ve wanted to meet and potentially become friends with for a long time now since we both have a lot in common and have very similar personalities, though due to my anxiety, I’ve never had the courage to speak with them and didn’t really know where to start. Anyways, learned a few days that I’ll be forced to meet them today, as they invited me to attend an event with them, and ever since then, I’ve been having constant panic attacks about it as I want it to go well and need friends, but don’t want to do something wrong. I haven’t really been able to eat much at all the past few days and constantly feel like throwing up, but today is the day we’re supposed to meet and I’m more anxious than ever. My hands are shaking trying to type this and idk why.
I want to make a good first impression, but don’t know how to go about it. How do I let someone know that I’d like to become friends? Any tips?
I feel like really lightheaded rn like I’m gonna pass out and just hate this feeling
6 comments
Well, they invited you to hang with them. To me that means they would like to get to know you better and be friends.
Just talk about things you both like and what’s going on at the event you’re at. Once the convo starts flowing, your anxiety will get better.
And think of it this way: they are also probably trying to look cool so you’ll want to be friends with them too. Make sure they’re worthy of spending time with you.
[deleted]
It is totally normal to be nervous before meeting someone for the first time due to uncertainty, there are people who get less nervous and others more. When you get the feeling of anxiety about what is going to happen, notice it and that’s it, don’t try to fight it, it is an emotion that is totally normal to have because of thoughts like: and what happens if I do something wrong?. It is totally normal for those thoughts to come, we do not control our mind, and thoughts are thoughts, they dont have any meaning, simply when those thoughts come to you, do not judge them, let them go and come to the present, because u are loosing ur present tinking about that and is a waste of energy, the more u think it doesnt mean u are going to do it better. Go there as calm as possible knowing that no matter what happens, you dont need to make any good impression, just be yourself.
As you gain experience in this aspect, you will begin to care less about meeting new people for the first time and one day you will laugh at this moment with joy. If you want, try a serie called headspace guide to meditation in netflix to train the mind to be more calm and care less about thoughts.
When I first met my ex, he knew going in that I had anxiety. I got to the spot we were to meet but couldn’t get myself off the ground. I still feel bad for wasting an hour of his time while I couldn’t make myself do anything or ask for help, but he didn’t care and was only concerned when he finally found me. He was very kind and understanding, and did his best to help me calm down and feel comfortable. And while I still had anxiety, this freeze-response to seeing him never happened again.
It’s not a great story, but even that was the start of something I can’t ever regret. So even if it goes badly, and I mean *really* badly, all is not lost!
I do think it would be important to let them know what your comfort levels are with socializing, even if you don’t tell them about your social anxiety itself. Good people will understand, and people who are good for you will try to make things easier and take the pressure off your shoulders.
Outside of all of that, I hear ice cubes or sour candies help let your brain know that there is no emergency. You wouldn’t be eating or drinking in a life-or-death situation after all, and that’s all anxiety is–an over-protective system trying to keep you safe.
You’re 15 – totally normal to be anxious about a lot of things… breaking the overthinking loop is first step… just reading your post I can feel it.
In life there are moments when this feeling hits you- some push through and use it as an indication as something they need to do/experience- others shrink and run from it.
Best thing you can do is push through.. no matter what. Each step in any direction gets easier and easier. Choosing to always move towards the things in life you want will only get easier… Will it always be great results? No but learning that whatever is in you head(anxiety) is worse than the actual (whatever it is) will pay dividends for the rest of your life…. Also know running from things also gets easier, and that’s the trap. You learn that giving up is easy and that too becomes a pattern- and you lose out on everything in life.
You’ll be ok- push through. If anything in life is worth remembering it’s those two words: “Push Through”. I promise you it will pay off and you’ll be teaching someone else this lesson in life someday.😌🙏🏻
I used to be super anxious before having a conversation with someone new
A method that helped me deal with it, maybe it can help you too
Before you get into a new conversation – you would just start to overthink – try postponing it tell your brain Doesn’t worry we’ll do the overthinking but after we finish this interaction ( until then you can just stay quiet )
After it gets over you can just go back to overthinking it XD
I hope it helps