Update: 27(F) thinking about cutting my 63 (F) mom out of my life
I’m (27F) thinking about cutting my mom (63F) out of my life from relationships
TLDR: I had the talk, but I’m not confident my mom is going to change.
I had the talk with my mom yesterday with my brother, in person. It went better than planned but I’m still not optimistic.
Her kidney stones almost killed her requiring emergency surgery back in August. My brother was concerned about her health. “Oh my urologist says it has nothing to do with alcoholism, I MEAN alcohol” (nobody said the WORD alcoholism in the conversation before she did).
I gave her a piece of paper with two rehab centers in her town that accept her insurance. She told me to stop crying and that she will look into it and I explained why I don’t answer the phone after 4:00 and why I’ve been distant. It didn’t instill confidence in me, it was a dismissive and quick “Yeah yeah I know”. Did she throw that paper away? Did she stash it somewhere? I don’t know.
Time will tell. I said everything I wanted to say but she’s not completely cut out, yet. My doors are not an option when she gets asked to leave.
Her boyfriend back in October told her she needed to seek treatment or leave, and oh man do they FIGHT a lot. It’s not a good environnement and it’s really hard for him, someone who doesn’t drink because of his own issues with alcohol, has to be exposed to what essentially was/is his past.
I can tell myself she is not my responsibility but rock bottom for her is approaching quickly and it’s not over. It’s like I had 20 pounds on my shoulder and took off 5. I will stand by my bottom line and my home is not a option for her. If I could choose one word it’s sad. Sad the way she’s brought down so many others in her life, sad she destroyed/is destroying her own. She understands but she’s not ready……
-I couldn’t find any Al Anon meetings close to me but I’ll do more research, there has to be some in my area that aren’t two hours away.
-The show Intervention really helped frame how I felt.
-I told my family members what happened as a heads up and that I can’t have them call me when my mom calls them crying drunk about me or whatever.
-In the meantime, I’m scheduling my next therapy appointment…