I’m 30M and my GF is 28F. We’ve been dating for nearly two years now and we’ve been living together in a rented flat for nearly a year now.
She’s always been very close with her mum, they text each other all day everyday. Sometimes it is really annoying. For example, she’s on her phone texting her and I’m trying to talk to her and she can’t even hear me, and then asks me to say it again. Or, we’ll be in my car, I’m driving and I see her on her phone texting her mum. When I look over and she senses I’m looking, she tilts her phone so I don’t see. I’ve questioned her on this many times, she says she just doesn’t like when other people are watching over her. But yes I’ve been through her phone a lot when she’s in the shower, and she’s talking to her mum – not another guy.
Recently, me and my business partner had an argument over the phone and she was in the car with me. He was on loud speaker in the car, and he was having a real go at me for something that happened which wasn’t my fault. My GF was texting her mum telling her everything that is being said! She was also crying because of the way I was being spoken to. She was angry and upset. I saw that she loves me and doesn’t like seeing me get spoken to in this rude manner.
Her mum replied back saying what I should say back, and her thoughts etc. then my GF also said I don’t stick up for myself very well.. she didn’t even tell me she was telling her mum what happened. They just seem to be best friends and she shares everything with her.
I don’t know how happy I feel when I saw that she told her mum this, and also her telling her mum about my argument is my business.
And finally, my GF is currently out of job and is looking for work. She recently applied for some benefits at the job centre but then they asked to include me in as well as we are classed as a couple living together. Because I earn too much, she wasn’t entitled to anything. She sent her mum the screenshot showing that she’s entitled to nothing and also a screenshot that shows how much I get a month in salary after tax.
I’m not sure how I feel her mum knowing how much money I make every month.
Her mum and her are close, they talk and tell each other pretty much everything and anything everyday. Her mum is always trying to buy us stuff for our new flat, and buys lots of presents for me for Christmas and my birthday. I suppose she has good intentions, but I wanted to get other peoples’ opinion:
1) Thoughts on my GF always texting her mum everyday telling each other everything?
2) Thoughts on when she had to unnecessarily text her and tell her about my argument with my business partner?
3) Thoughts on when she screenshot the page to show her mum she wasn’t entitled to any benefits and also showed how much salary I get each month?
This has been going on from the start, I ask why she’s always texting her mum, she says they’ve always been very close and are like best friends.
7 comments
Just date a girl who’s moms dead it’s that simple
I think it’s valid to not want your gfs mom to know certain things. Most likely your gf is having a hard time even being aware that this is something that might bother you. If you haven’t already, have a calm talk and explain you’re a private person and that you want to draw some boundaries about when you’d prefer that she keeps things between the two of you.
Whatever you do though make sure it’s clear you respect their closeness and understand that she talks to her mom about issues to process them and receive support. You don’t want it to sound like you’re telling her she can’t vent to her mom about things going on in your life that affect her.
Hope this helps its a tricky line but just think it through and then communicate calmly and listen and compromise u got this
What’s she’s doing is definitely overboard. It’s time for a serious conversation about this. She’s sharing really private information about you and your relationship and it’s going to lead to trust issues down the line — there will be things in the future you won’t tell your girlfriend because of this. She needs to be aware of what she’s doing and more importantly, why she does it.
What I’m reading is that besides the close relationship with her mom is that she’s not being very present when she’s with you because she’s texting her mom. Being close with a parent is great but this goes above that. But you’ve said she’s always been like this. Does she have any close friends that she confides in? At her grown age, she should know better than to tell people everything about what goes on behind closed doors. You need to express to her how you feel.
Youve been posting about this same issue for over a year dude. grow up. She has __one__ mother.
If I were you, I’d be wondering why her having a close relationship with her parent bothers you so much.
Is this the same gf that you say is clingy and has anxiety?
If she doesn’t have a job and she’s living with you, expecting her reduce contact with her family is just plain controlling behaviour.
I understand not being comfortable about her mother knowing how much you earn (I agree with you because I would feel the same) _but given the circumstances_ that you’re living together it’s not exactly worth getting annoyed over. Especially since she wasn’t able to get government payments because of your pay. Her mum is probably trying to get a better picture of wtf is going on because frankly your relationship sounds like mayhem. Did you comfort her when she was distressed from that work call?
You’ve spam posted about this a lot in the past in different subreddits over a long period of time.
The comments have called you out for your childish behaviour when you were _throwing her things_ . Even before I went to read those, I already had a similar stance from this post alone. You give off a really high strung vibe.
Someone asked “do you even like this person?” And that was my initial thought. You complain about the same things just to vent, not actually wanting or taking advice.
Put this woman out of her misery already or try understand that you aren’t right all of the time. Also learn to let things go, it will help with the tension and insecurity.
Wow, you live in a threesome. And not a good one. Sorry but this won’t change and she’s well overboard. Your choice. I’d leave.
I work with highly confidential stuff and can’t imagine my bf (if I had it) would pass any information to his family. It’s nobody’s business! Your wages are nobody’s business! The days you are constipated are nobody’s business, your shaved (or not) balls are not her MUM business either and I guarantee, she already knows!
Well, post again when you’re free 😁
You can’t change her so accept her and her relationship with her mom or don’t. Your choice, but you had best take your time thinking about it and make the right decision for you soon no matter how painful it may be.