Feeling very trapped and discouraged at work.. looking for some career and life advice

TLDR; seeking career advice – 35y/o with wife and 16 month old living in a suburb of Seattle – at a loss with what to do with my job.

I’ve been in banking for almost 8 years (started in a branch as a teller), been with the same company (an “ultra-regional” bank based out of WA) for the last 5 years, 4 years a commercial credit analyst. The role I’ve been in has historically been an entry-level, jumping off point into a true underwriting role but the bank restructured a year ago and there’s essentially been a hiring freeze for underwriters. Over the last 2-3 years I’ve applied to dozens and interviewed with other banks but have always been turned down due to not having true underwriting experience. My annual raise has been next to nothing, last year was 2%, and I was turned down when I asked for a raise this summer, even though I picked up additional duties. I have made it VERY clear with my manager and his manager that my goal is to be promoted to senior analyst and since being turned down for a raise, have picked up even more duties. My team moved to remote during the pandemic and the bank opted for most of the commercial banking team to work remote indefinitely.

Today HR posted the compensation guide for 2023 and the numbers did not change a single cent from 2022. As someone with depression and have been severely struggling with it as of late, this sent me into a deep dark spiral – I feel like I cannot leave, I cannot get a promotion, and I can’t just quit without a better paying job.

I am the primary earner, the primary problem solver and keeps everything running smoothly at home(aka CEO of the home), the only one who cooks, the only one who handles projects and maintenance for our house (which is currently underwater after the market tanked in April), and I help out about with 35-40% of baby responsibilities. Our families live in NJ and we both work from home so we literally never get a break away from our son. All this has had me feeling extremely overwhelmed and hopeless since it does not appear anything will get better in the next few years. Most days I feel like I could have a break down at any time.

I don’t really have anyone else to go to with this, so I come here seeking advice and opinions. If this is something common that people go through and I just need to suck it up, feel free to tell me that as well.