Honestly not trying to sound like some hero here, but me and my gf just have that chemistry.
When we sex she can reach orgasm within 5 minutes. What I’m trying to overcome is it becomes so tensed up when she does that I cannot resist also reaching climax. Not trying to say this is a problem, but sometimes I would like to last beyond that and pleasure her and myself more but I can’t with how good it feels when she does.
Tried:
– going slower to draw it out (going back results in same tension)
– having a few drinks
– above plus a joint
– obligatory ‘rub one beforehand’
There’s more I can add to this list but not sure if appropriate for this sub. Just curious if any guys (or girls and their guys) have had this experience and if found a resolution?
Many thanks all and merry Xmas
40 comments
It’s just something that takes practice, I wouldn’t recommend relying on drugs or alcohol, but pulling out and calming down for a minute might be the way to go, and you can still play with her while you wait.
No reason to stop after the first one. That’s the purge, doesn’t count 😝
Look up edging methods
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Work your kegel muscles, they need to be toight 😛
Cannabis might help you both.
Convince yourself that you will eat the cream pie if you cum to early. Some people are into that but it might help you hold back a little longer
Practice is the only way. Using alcohol or drugs is not wise. And pulling out and stopping will take away from her pleasure. It’s the same as how you learn how to last in bed at all, it’s just repetition and practice … You’ll be able to last through it eventually. Once you learn to last through her first orgasm, the sky’s the limit!
Two tips for you that work. First is kegel control which is when you ‘hold’ when you feel about to release. Second is edging. Here you literally practice by yourself lasting for 20,30,40 mins without releasing. If you do these two techniques consistently after some time your body will adapt and learn to last long during sex.
The reason why guys struggle to last is because they have trained via porn and masturbation habits to release quickly and have weak pc muscles. This translates to poor sex.
Also breathing properly can increase your time because you don’t want to hold any tension in your body otherwise it’s game over.
If it were me (I’m a woman though so maybe see it differently), I’d make her cum without being inside her, doing other things to her. Let her cum, then kiss her/hold her/whatever and then have sex with her. Maybe she can cum again with you inside. For me, sex feels amazing after I’ve cum because everything is tighter. It doesn’t just stop after orgasm for a lot of women, she can probably keep going. Some might not want to though 🤷♀️
Dunno why you’d want to, a simultaneous orgasm is the best. You can always carry on pleasing her afterwards.
You can maintain clitoral stimulation but back off on the thrusting itself, that should help her get off but lesson the intensity on you.
Honestly I have a similar issue, I just love the feeling of them orgasming and find it so damn sexy that it pushes me towards it to, I embrace it though, cumming together is super intimate.
Go the other direction. Have a super fast, super intense quickie instead then transition to oral afterwards. Some women love a good quickie.
I think sex after orgasm(depending on the kind) can be a bit painful for a woman so it’s not necessarily the worst
Deep breathing. Relax. Look into Mantak Chia or David Deida’s book on being multi-orgasmic. Breathe that energy through your body. It’s an amazing way to last longer and she will appreciate it!
My partner spent almost 3yrs perfecting being able to edge and hold back for longer sessions. It takes lot of practise!
Have you tried any of the creams or sprays that numb you a bit? Maybe one of those would help.
practice *reverse* kegels. when you get closer to an orgasm your pelvic floor muscles tense up, reverse kegels help you to control and relax those muscles. notice regular kegels do the opposite, so stick to reverse kegels for a few months and it will probably work very well
Pull out and calm down while giving her an orgasm through other stimulation (fingering, oral, toys).
Work on your breathing and muscle control. What helps me too is thinking more about what I’m doing than what I’m feeling. You can also stop when she’s cum and switch to oral for a bit so you have a chance to calm down a little.
Practice, and there are some breathing techniques that can help. It’s as much about taking enough focus away from the pleasure to not climax, as it is about making sure you don’t lose focus so much that you loose the erection. It can be weird, and if she brings it up, just say that you’re working on it so that you can both go longer. That being said, have you talked with her about whether she wants to go longer, or not? Sometimes, that’s exactly what someone is looking for. Lasting longer/going longer can be lots of fun, but it can also be Exhausting, and turn into insecurity about not being desirable anymore, sometimes. Just some good for thought 🤘
Take a breather break ( she might appreciate that, possibly). And if she’s willing, have her go down on you for a while – that helps with breaking you out of the O-zone, and will help the two of you last even longer. Might even lead to her having a second O (used to happen with several women I had dated). Changing the position helps, too: the angle of things really affect the sensation to your cock, and certain angles definitely lessen the sensation to you, while intensifying for her. Just kept cycling through things.
From my personal experience it comes down to your own psychology and kind set dude. You just got to learn to get in that head space to go just a little farther each time.
Another trick I learned is to shorten my own refractory period so me and my partner can take a little breather before getting right back to it.
I don’t have a solution, just sayin’: when my wife cums and even sometimes squirts along with it, I’m-a-cummin’. So hot… just gonna cum with her. Hopefully others have actually helpful comments.
I wish I had a better answer but when my wife orgasms she gets very vocal and that sends me over the edge, so im often in the same boat as you. I figure we’re both happy because we both cum so it doesn’t bug me. But best I can suggest is if you want to go more, then go right back to foreplay after you both finish and gear up for round two.
Ask her.
Been here before. 2 ideas.
1. Go down on he first and eat her until she’s come a couple of times. Shouldn’t take too long by the sound of it.
Then fuck her slowly, raising your rhythm over time. The idea is to slowly build to orgasm for her so that it’s incredibly intense. Do it right and she’ll basically pass out when you’re done.
2. You could always get a little numbing lube, too, but if you do make sure you only use a drop and only inside a condom. It’ll make you last longer and won’t change her pleasure much.
Look into non ejaculatory orgasms. Takes time to develop the control, but once you do, you can keep going for hours.
Same boat, I can fuck my gf for 5 minutes or 20 minutes, once she cums, I cum.
Meth or cocaine combined with Cialis or Viagra.
Some girls just come real easy! I’ve had alot of causal sex during my 20s. And I always used about the same technique. Some come so fast you get surprised, others don’t come even how hard you try..
if she gets to tight after cumming either take a small break or try another position. And feeling a girl come is hot, so no judgment in you not lasting after! and congratscongrats your good sex life, may it live on for a good while
I’m not sure if this is useful but if you want her to experience more orgasms I’d say try to make her orgasm with foreplay before sex even starts then she can have more. But I know it wouldn’t prevent your problem so maybe it’s no use
i might be an outlier for this but a thicker condom helps me in this a lot, sometimes too much.
1. Slow down when she’s about to have an orgasm. Try to delay her orgasm as long as possible to have it with her
2. Why don’t you treat yourself to a second round? The second time it’s probable you will come first
I personally am a huge fan of the pull out and go down on her again method. Gives me a break and keeps her rolling.
Is round two an option?
Try starting in a position that’s nice but may not make either of you cum. Sitting upright in a chair, spooning, prone etc.
Talk to her about edging. It can be fun. My gf is a squirter so I like to get her close and back off a few times. She’s usually cums about 5 or 10 times and says edging makes it fun.
If she gets close, pull out and finger her hard or have her use a vibe for the first O. Then keep going.
Try to bring her to an orgasm *without* PIV first? Then maybe she’ll be a bit more delayed before the next one hits her? Ummm, weirder one that I had some success with was increasing cardio conjoined with practicing kegel control. Sometimes you could with the right “squeeze” hold yourself a off a little longer… but that wasn’t 100% reliable.
I often had the opposite problem as meds I take can make you anorgasmic. But most of the time my solution either way was to get *her* revved up, and maybe even brought off a few times, first. Then it felt less “over too fast” whenever I dove in and joined her.
Usually if you’re keeping her happy throughout, I found this strategy worked *great*! Maybe if she’s had an orgasm or two, she’ll be less squeezy and liable to go off like a shot, and then you can last longer! That is, if she’s *up* for being pampered like that for 20 minutes or so before the main event anyway…. it sounds like you keep each other quite happy so I bet she’d be game to try at least!
Good luck and Merry Christmas, you crazy lovebirds!
id like to hear what you dont believe is appropriate for the sub
Why is this a problem? Did she say something? She may not want to go much longer after having an orgasm. Not every woman can have multiple orgasms in one session and it can begin to hurt after a while.