My Last Relationship and Moving On

Broke up with my last partner (4 months ago) because I moved abroad and life was uncertain.

We used to talk everyday in a very emotionally intimate manner; not the way two casual friends would talk. Her coping mechanism was to find someone else to love. In the past 4 months, she found at least 3 people to love and break up with. I used to be on the other end of the phone listening to her cry. However, after I found life wasn’t a too uncertain and I could make this relationship work, she didn’t accept my proposal to date each other. However, on a daily basis, we used to say how much we love each other. I figured it was getting a bit toxic, not conducive for me to move on.

So, I came back to the country to meet her and say one last goodbye and commence no contact and the process of getting over her. She agreed to meetup when I told her about it a week ago, but today, she texted saying she won’t be meeting me. When I asked her the reason, she said, she never loved me and I happened to be the kind of support she needed at that point but not anymore. She ended up saying very mean things which I wished she never said and even more, I wish they aren’t true.

Either way I feel even I don’t want to meet her anymore because the things she said. I wanted to treat this breakup with even more respect and compassion than the relationship but her definition of love is that “two people who love each other never leave”. I feel this is extremely unhealthy for my next relationship. Even till the day I told her about the last meetup, my heart was filled with love for her, I wanted to do this because I feel I am young(24) and should move on.

Nonetheless I am super sad about how all of it is coming to an end.

PS : I write this with my keyboard drenched in tears!