We’ve been together three years. First New Years we spent together but last year we didn’t. He went out with friends since he was legal age but I wasn’t. I wasn’t mad about that though but because of that I wanted to spend this year together. We agreed we wanted to be together for it although we didn’t made specific plans the plans were to be together and grab some drinks.
Well, yesterday he tells me he’s going to his friends vacation home 2 hours away with this group of guys and a few girls. I’m a bit put off by this and he doesn’t invite me. I am not friends with the friends he will be with so it makes sorta sense since it seems like a group where everyone knows everyone? I am just pretty upset to be honest. I said to him I was sad since we planned to spend it together and he said “yea. I want to spend it with you too but I feel like I should go to this instead.” And I left it at that. I’m upset though and I hate feeling like his last option and since something more fun came up he chooses to do that instead.
TL:DR; don’t know how to deal with my boyfriend dropping our New Year’s Eve plans.
16 comments
there may be a First Night or other activities in your area, go do something completely different and awesome.
Your BF had options. He could choose to stay home and spend New Year’s Eve with you this year, as you both agreed after he celebrated becoming legal age last year by going out and drinking with legal friends…while you stayed home He could have checked with Vacation Home Friend after he got the invitation this year, to see if it would be OK if he brought his GF along. It would have been a good opportunity for you to meet a lot of his close friends. But the way he phrased this, he never even asked his friend – which seems to indicate that he’d prefer you stay home for this one, too.
Do his friends and family at least know that he is going out with you?
To this outsider looking in, it looks like your BF does not put the same priority on your relationship that you do. Only you can decide if you’re OK with that. If you are, I’d advise you to expect to spend more holidays on your own, while he goes out with his established crowd…and chooses not to invite you. I’m sorry you’re in that situation.
“I want to spend it with you but I feel I should go to this instead”. What a ridiculous statement, what does it even mean except that he wants to be with his friends and not you. Next his ass.
“I want to spend it with you too but I feel like I should go to this instead.”
Let me run this through the bullshit translator for you: “I would hang out with you if any other plans weren’t more important to me.”
If he really wanted to spend it with you, he would. It would be easy for him to say, “Sorry I already made plans with my GF” or “Sure, I’ll come and bring my GF along!” But he didn’t. Because he doesn’t want to. You’re more into him than he’s into you. Which is super sad, because New Years Eve is definitely a romantic type of holiday/occasion.
You can deal with it by breaking up with him or just giving somebody else that New Years Eve kiss he’ll be missing out on with you! You are so young and have so much more to give somebody else who will actually make you and your relationship a priority!
Don’t waste your time on someone that won’t prioritise you. Also won’t even try to comprise for you. You are young, don’t waste your emotional energy on this guy when there are people out there willing to treat you like you are their world.
You have communicated how upset you are about this and got zero empathy. Break things off, have an awesome new years and feel like you are starting a new year without the baggage of someone that doesn’t prioritise you.
After three years together, he could certainly bring you to the friend’s weekend if he wanted to. He’s telling you pretty clearly that he doesn’t want to spend the time with you and he is not prioritizing time with you or your feelings at all. Sorry.
After three years, I would think that he would have introduced you to his different friend groups by now. Maybe have a talk about wanting to integrate your lives more and see how he responds? If he isn’t inviting you to these events after three years together and he has no desire of progressing the relationship, maybe you’ll want to reevaluate if this is the relationship for you
Do you know his friends at all?
Girl, he’s just not that into you. Move on!
Sorry honey but he is spending new years with another woman. Do you want to spend every new years alone while your ‘bf’ is partying with other women.
He’d be an AH for standing you up for new years to hang out with the guys.
It he’s not doing that. He’s going to hang out with guys and girls so there is a good chance he’s not just an AH but rather a cheating AH.
If he was a loyal boyfriend then, at a minimum, he’d be begging you to come along on the trip.
Please say he’s not your boyfriend anymore. Tell him you are both free agents and to e joy his NYE because you intend to. He will either change his plans or you will knows it’s over. Good Luck. Don’t be tge Plan B.
The new year is approaching. “Clean house” and start your year fresh, op.
How would you ever get to know his friends if he doesn’t invite you with them. Would you want to be with a better dude who wants to be with you and wahoo introduces you to his friends? Start 2023 without this dude.
Your response should be: “I feel like I should date someone else instead”
After three fucking years, AND the first NYE where you’re legal to drink, he’s blowing you off at the last minute to go hang out with his friends? And you’re not welcome?
Nah.
He’s showing you what his priorities are. Now you have to decide if you are OK with that. I wouldn’t be.