22AFAB here, husband is 30M. We’ve gone through some issues with our sex life before, but as he’s been diagnosed with depression and I with bipolar, medications and regular therapy have helped a lot! Anyways:
I want to try something special. I’ve always had a higher libido than him and although he’s great at what he does to me, I’m interested in seeing what it’s like if I get to control the sex for a day. I want the idea to be for him to be encouraged (but not forced) to engage in intimacy as often as I want to proposition him, and the day to be of his chosing as well.
It’s not just about sex btw, and that’s where I’m having trouble figuring out what I want to say. I want to make it like a date night, just to sit around getting high and eating junk food, and although we’d be screwing like rabbits as much as we re able, I want to be making out, cuddling, massaging, and just overall making my touch fixated brain happy.
Has anyone done anything like this before? Did you and your partner like it, or did it feel too forced? Do you think there’s a good way to do this?
8 comments
I haven’t but I would say key is. Safe word, hard limits discussed before and general discussion of what u both want us best.
What AFAB stands for?
I have 0 experience in free use but I thought the point was to be able to have sex with the other person anytime/whenever you wanted. The other person just does it, sometimes not stopping from the other activity e.g. keeps watching tv, talking in the phone etc.. it’s a bit different than what you are seeking.
I may be wrong though.
If you have a higher libido than him, this may backfire on you as he may not find it enjoyable and be willing to go at it more than once or twice. Certainly request it but be prepared for rejection or disappointment
The problem is obvious!
Free use is pretty much how we live. If u come to bed naked or bottomless, then u are giving the green light to be taken anytime. Days alone at home it’s no clothes or sexy costumes or outfits. Safe words are a must and constantly having discussions about what turns each other on. We have names and phrases for sex acts that we love to do,. For example her saying “I want a Snickers bar” is code for blowjob. Or if I say, “are we out of pink pineapple?” That is code for come sit on my face so I can eat u.
Free use can be absolutely amazing. Letting my husband do what he wants when he wants has helped our sex life so much. Im higher libido than him now lol. We are 100% free use and I don’t ever see that changing. We do lean pretty heavy into a Dom/sub dynamic as well.
I think you should talk to him, as straight as you posted here.