Me (21M) and my Ex (20F) of 2.5 years just broke up a month ago. We were each others first real, intimate relationship, taking each others virginity. 2 weeks into the breakup I managed to take her on a date and we agreed to try again. That only lasted a few days because she went away to deal with family shit and I had a panic attack from the lack of communication, so she broke it off again. A week and a half after that we agreed to go on a hike and talk about things. I told her I was still in love with her, and she said she cared about me, but not the same way she used to before. Granted, her entire family moved out of the country and left her here and she has never fully dealt with it and held it in. She said she wanted to work on herself, and figure things out. Later on in the hike, she hugged me crying saying she didn’t know what to do. (she now says that doesn’t count because of the conversations I am getting into.)
I suggested an exclusive FWB Scenario, where we can still get our sexual itches scratched by each other. She has told me she honestly isn’t looking for a relationship with anyone because she does not have the emotional capacity to focus on someone else’s needs. Over the last week we have talked a lot about what happened in our relationship, and why it ended… all the red flags. Honestly communicating better than we ever did inside the relationship.
I understand her feelings of not wanting anything right now, and she made it very clear not to lead me on. She did say that in the future she hopes we can grow back together, because our morals and viewpoints line up, but right now we need to focus on the things that broke us up. She also said, There is a possibility we grow apart during this time.
TLDR RIGHT HERE!!!!
The thing is, we are still fucking and have talked about plans to go on adventures together, scratching off bucket list tasks. She is even planning on attending my college graduation in a month. She knows I still have feelings for her, and I also know that she can’t feel the same way right now. Is it wrong to continue this? To me it seems like we are more than FWB but not in a relationship (she has also agreed it felt like this). We have long, deep chats every few days about where we are, better chats than we did as a couple. And a part of me is so happy to see her grow and be in her life, not wanting to take that away from her. But another part of me wants what we have back. I don’t feel this is a typical FWB situation.