I am talking with a guy (19m) and I think it is established that I (18f) like him and he likes me.( from people seeing us together, texts, etc) We are both religious Jews so it is inevitably awkward, as we both have NO experience. At this point I am just waiting for a move lol
Ok back to the title, do you think the fact that I’m a liberal, and he’s a republican would affect the chances of us working out? We have had many friendly debates, and have learned a lot of things. We both at the end of the day respect each other, but I’m a bit worried, and I know politics are such I big thing nowadays. Thanks for any help/advice
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Until about five years ago people of different political persuasions got on just fine. Then people started behaving in real life like they do online. Now everyone who doesn’t share your exact views are scum, apparently. TLDR you’re doomed!
Depends on if he’s the type of republican that actively votes for your rights be to taken away, as well as the safeties of the laws and constitution to be slowly eroded while claiming to protect them. And if so, it depends on if you’re the type of person to stay with someone who is apathetic to those things or not.
Although there are many divisive leaders hate-mongering, moderate republicans and democrats probably agree more than they disagree on many relevant topics. If one of you is more extreme then you probably want to find that out as soon as you can.
What is going to matter in my humble opinion is respecting each other’s ideals and making the attempt to see their point of view. Politics is not an all or nothing, even though we like to pretend it is nowadays. If you can respect the others viewpoint without degrading, demeaning, or stereotyping typing it, there is no reason you cannot work out.
As long as you both respect each other and don’t let politics get in the way of your actual relationship then it could work. Political differences in relationships ruin said relationships when you can’t have healthy conversations without it turning into a debate of who is right and who is wrong, and when your feelings over politics begin to cloud your feelings towards your partner and make you resent them.
I personally could never be with someone whose views about my own rights and the rights of others differ so greatly from my own. Its a clash of morals at that point.
If being together doesn’t affect you from a moral standpoint and you think you can keep it civil, go for it.
Look it can work but if he’s a hardcore Republican to the point he doesn’t believe in people having rights I’d say it’s an incompatibility between you
In my experience you often end up with someone with similar values to you and whilst polar opposite political views can work it only works if you have a clearly defined agreement on no discussion on politics and that they still have moderate views
I don’t think political differences on their own are insurmountable, but I think you need to look into whether or not ‘political differences’ are a mask for incompatible values/morals.
think about what your fundamental values are and how much you can still respect someone who doesn’t align with them.
my boyfriend and i are both 19, i’m a liberal and he doesn’t say it out loud but i know he leans republican based on how he debates my opinions on big issues like gun control and healthcare.
the main thing is both of us recognize when those big issues *exist* (school shootings, becoming homeless when you get cancer), we just disagree on HOW they should be handled.
Political parties aren’t personality traits. As long as you have the same general values when it comes to the big important things and you can learn how to agree to disagree on the small stuff you should be fine. If you can’t find common ground at all he’s not the guy for you.
So here’s the thing with politics. If it was just spending bills then it’s really easy to be on other sides. Arguing about whether to spend more money on trains or highways isn’t going to really affect a relationship. But there’s plenty that is in the political realm that will. Things like:
Reproductive rights
LGBTQ+ rights
What is or isn’t basic human rights
Gun rights (more specifically guns in the home)
Education policies
Race policies
Religious rights
So where do you line up on the things that will take a toll on your relationship?
If this was the republican party of 20 or 30 years ago maybe. But not now. Not this one.
I live in Japan.
My wife is a crazy right wing Japanese nationalist.
I am a total left wing American liberal.
I’ve never had so much fun with anyone in my life.
Look up “woke fishing” before you get too far.
No, and i think the people that disagree don’t have a very strong moral center. I wouldn’t need someone to line up with all my political views but I would need us to be pretty similar, being on the opposite end of the political spectrum would not work for me.
what type of republican is he is he a conservative republican or a maga republican or just a normal one?
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just be aware of his behavior towards you if it works it works but do not stay around if he starts disrespecting your views.
100% go for it. You’re both young, have fun. Dont let a stupid thing like politics get in the way of romance! Ignore anyone who tells you any different. If it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work, but at least you tried. Life’s too short to get hung up on these things, take a chance on love 🤞❤️
My GF is liberal and I am republican. We love each other. Respect each other. And have friendly debates.
Politics is not life. Neither is religion.
It can work as long as you understand love is above all those things.
The label itself doesnt necessarily matter, but the core beliefs that label represents.
Core beliefs may be deal breakers, depends on what theyre willing to listen to
Political preferences tend to reflect personal ideologies. You likely value different things, and it can definitely lead to butting heads.
In my experience liberals moreso value empathy, while conservatives value tradition and family. You could find him lacking empathy, and he could find you lacking familial priorities.
None of this is to say that you *can’t* make it work, but it points to differences that may be challenging to overcome.
Also, try to limit watching the news together or discuss politics. Those debates may be lighthearted now, but they’re likely to get really old really fast when you both realize you can’t change each other’s minds.
I say, proceed with caution.
Yeah it can work if you two understand that your political and social differences dont make either of you any less of a person or any less moral than the other. The major exception is when it comes to how things will be when raising your kids, if you’re thinking that far into the future. If you and him differ in LGBT stuff, that might be a huge issue because you might support and encourage a gay/trans child while he will not. He will want his kids raised with a certain worldview that might clash with how you want your kids raised. If this is going to be a long term thing, you need to think of possible conflicts when it comes to your children.
It depends. I think you need to really think about what being a “liberal” means for you & take into account what he actually says when he says hes a “republican.” It’s fun to debate people I get that but like if you get pregnant, would he demand you marry him ASAP & have the baby even if you wanted an abortion? Say you have kids & one of them is queer, will he accept that kid or will he be expecting that kid to be cut off/sent to conversion therapy. Or say the more tricky one for people but say he says he loves his hypothetical queer child & is a great dad but actively votes against queer people having rights & doesn’t understand why that child wants nothing to with them because in his mind it’s a “difference of opinion.”
A lot of republican people share similar traditionalist values of gender roles, will he assume you’re going to do all the housework & child rearing. Is he going to expect you to be a sahm? Is he going to talk down to you/joke about you being a woman? You also say you’re religious, but does that mean you’re expecting to live a traditional life with a traditional role as a woman? Also, is he going to expect a baby from young like soon because of religion & do you want that? Does he think it’s okay if you’re on birth control? You’re only 18, I get having fun in a relationship & these kind of political differences don’t really appear for a lot of cis straight people until they’re about to have kids but I’d think about them now because you don’t know where life will take you.
Personally no I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who votes for a party that believes I don’t get bodily autonomy because I have a uterus full stop & no good dick will change that.
Politics cross over into issues of ethics and morals. If you have fundamentally different morals, it’s not so easy to maintain a common ground.
Currently most of the big differences between Democrats and Republicans come down to fundamental beliefs and what you value morally, no I do not think two people on opposing sides of those issues can have a healthy, long-term relationship.
Another thing to consider is that you are both very young. I had very conservative views growing up but have leaned more to the left as I have gotten older and broadened my perspectives.
If you have more in common than not in common then why not. Might be good for both people to see where the other persons views come from.
Expect clashes, and attempt to be adults about it, you ARE very young.
Depends on how much of their identity is politics.
Depends. Does he believe you have the right to bodily autonomy? Is he racist/ableist/homophobic? Does he loathe people less fortunate?
It’s not the label. It’s the core values. If those don’t align I don’t see this working out. There’s debates but when you build a life with someone it’s not a cute little debate
There is no reason it should matter, it’s crazy how the world has come to a difference of opinion being the end of amicable interactions.
dating a republican in theory might not be that bad if you somehow can look past the racism, sexism, classism and things of that sort…but its not so fun when he applies those views on your relationship & body. i also don’t believe that “liberals” or anybody who claims to be left in some way shape or form could date a republican or other brand of right wing politics without agreeing to some degree (or atleast be passive enough about it, which is also really shitty)
like it or not, politics are important and who you choose to associate with reflects you and your character. i would never be proud to date a republican.
Well basically what it comes down to is can you respect each other on stuff you disagree on, and can you both compromise and work the issue when those beliefs conflict on things that actually matter?
Don’t argue about issues that don’t actually impact your relationship, and make sure you will be taken seriously when it does.
Most of the time when mixed-view relationships like this fail it’s because one or both parties tried converting the other over hypotheticals.
That’s entirely up to the two of you. You need to agree about what’s more important: winning political arguments or your relationship.
The fact is if your political views are so dramatically opposed that you can’t get along then it’s not going to work, no matter how much you care for each other. Unless you both decide that you need to be together no matter how much you disagree.
You ought to discuss rules about how to stay together. But no one who doesn’t know the two of you can tell you if your relationship is going to end or not just because you’re members of different political parties.
You’ll be OK, just don’t drink the Kool-Aid.
It’s not about political differences, but how you both view them. If you both can look across the political divide, and see neighbors, friends, even a lover, you just have to keep the arguments civil. But if either of you sees threats, enemies and evil, you’re incompatible.
I understand why you’re hesitant. Political speech is full of fear, contempt, and anger. That’s what gets people to donate, vote, volunteer, and march, to say nothing of 6 Jan 21. So persuaders pour threats, enemies and evil into your glass, and count themselves successful if you drink it down.
So don’t. The persuaders themselves have no illusions. Two very prominent and successful consultants, liberal James Carville and conservative Mary Matalin, are life partners. If they believed what they advise their politician clients to say, they wouldn’t have got as far as a first date.
Politics *can* be a dealbreaker. It largely depends on how committed the two of you are to the issues/positions of your stances. If he votes republican because mom and dad said so and doesn’t have a personal stance on the issues, he may not care that you’re a liberal. If you’re a liberal that understands that some people disagree with your politics and you can continue to accept that they might actually be decent people in spite of this, you might be able to deal with the fact that he’s a republican.
But if he’s a republican who believes that all liberals are slaves of the devil that want to murder babies and/or you’re a liberal who believes that republicans are a corrupt parachurch patriarchal conspiracy that wants to undermine fundamental rights, you’re going to have a few issues to hash out down the line and it won’t be easy.
As a Jewish person, I’m not sure this will work in the long run. Idk what community y’all hail from but the Republican Party has become increasingly openly bigoted, including antisemitic (despite what Chaya Raichik states on her Chabad-backed LibsOfTiktok account). Being willing to overlook antisemitism because doing so allows the furthering of other goals has become a concerning issue for non-Orthodox Jews when looking at our orthodox *mishpocha*. We’re all family but when part of the family is willing to align with the very people who murdered a huge percentage of us in the last century, it’s concerning. I mention this because that’s the direction I’ve seen a lot of Orthodox Jews go in — yt supremacy comes for us all if we’re not aware and ready.
See a lot of people giving you vague answers or awful answer without clarifying more.
Most people here are assuming all Republicans are inherently evil and wish harm on others and that’s just flat out not the case. Are there republicans who are extremists? Sure there is, as there is with every other group. You’ve given us all no reason to believe your bf is a bad guy and I won’t judge him by his political beliefs alone.
That being said, politics can be deal breakers but only if they conflict so much with eachother. If you two can be respectable to eachother around certain topics, I see no reason why you two should break up if you’re happy. Just don’t try and make politics a bigger aspect of your relationship, it’s nice to have a debate every now and then, just don’t interrogate eachother constantly about your stances.
Best of luck.
It really depends on the ethics of a particular issue. Depending on your sect and how frum you are, abortion, homosexuality, Zionism, and feminism are all issues that you might violently disagree about.