I [27M] have been dating my GF[27F] for around 7 months now. Things have been going great in general and we’ve started talking about her moving in with me. Of course we’ve had some issues from time to time but the only thing that really makes me question our future together is her going out to party more often than I’m comfortable with.
I tried bringing this up with her before, but she downplayed it and said she doesn’t even go out that often, plus we often have this issue where she feels attacked or that I’m judging her whenever I try to talk about things in the relationship I don’t like or we could work on.
Most of the time the one who tries to convince her to go out is a friend [35F] of hers who wants to be wasted all weekend. I don’t know her very well but I don’t like her, she seems really bitter and I know she tells her girl friends stuff like they’ll end up breaking up and they shouldn’t waste time in relationships and so on. I also know my gf didn’t drink at all until she met this friend a couple years ago.
I don’t have a problem with her partying from time to time, I even go with her sometimes and have a good time, but lately I feel like it’s been too often, last week it was 4 times in a single week, plus there was also one time when I had food poisoning and was feeling like crap (had fever, nausea and diarrhea) and she asked me to drive her there and then go pick her up at 3 am, which really hurt me since if the roles were reversed, I would have stayed to look after her without thinking about it twice.
I never confronted her about this, and I’ve spent the last few days thinking if the relationship will work for me if it continues like this. How can I bring up to her that I don’t really see a future in our relationship if she keeps going out to party often? It almost feels like making her choose between this friend of hers and I, since they are kinda close and talk often, but only really meet to go partying/drinking since that’s all this friend wants to do. I just don’t see the fun anymore in getting hammered during weekend nights, and I know there’s nothing wrong if she wants to do it more often than I do, and I don’t have to join her every time. But it is getting to a point where it’s becoming a deal breaker for me.
2 comments
I think partying four times a week when you’re in college is pretty excessive tbh, but if you’re 27 and still doing it, that’s grounds for a breakup
You just have to find your self respect and be assertive. I get the position you’re in because I was in it too, and for a long time. ~~Women~~ *People who get wasted like that are bad news. Cheating and cocaine use comes with that territory and it’s easy to get out of control.