I’m (22F) having trouble cumming with my boyfriend (26M). Here are all the factors I think might contribute:
* I have only ever been able to cum by myself, with and without porn, with and without toys.
* I’m on SSRIs for high intensity OCD (sertraline).
* I sometimes watch pretty niche and specific porn (taste has changed over the years).
* I’ve had really bad body image and confidence in the past, as well as some post-orgasm guilt. My boyfriend has made me feel extremely comfortable with my body and I don’t consider this (or post-orgasm guilt) an active issue anymore, but who knows if it’s something subconscious.
We’ve tried foreplay, toys, me touching myself during sex, etc. Foreplay feels nice, but doesn’t get me to any build up. If anything, sometimes clitoral stimulation will get too much and it starts to hurt and my leg will shake uncontrollably. I don’t know if this is orgasm or not, but I usually get my boyfriend to stop if it reaches this
point.
PIV feels incredible (better than clitoral stuff for me) but I’m still no closer to orgasm. We’ve also tried incorporating some of my kinks/porn niches into sex but… nothing :(. I like really rough sex, but last time we had slower sex was sort of enlightening. My clit was rubbing on his stomach slowly which felt really nice. I feel like I could’ve been close then, but there’s really no tell-tale way to tell. I also happen to get full-body responses when he touches me NOT near my genitals (ie back), which might be something to consider.
I really worry because I love love LOVE having sex with him (and just love him in general). He’s happy to do foreplay until I come, but I usually get fed up after the 20 min mark of nothing and get him to switch to PIV. I have a high libido but no release. Last time I tried to touch myself by myself (w porn) almost felt like… nothing. It took me ages to get off and it wasn’t a strong orgasm at all. I’m worried it might be my antidepressants. I’ve gone on “drug holidays” and delayed consumption to no avail.
Very frustrated :(. Any advice is highly appreciated. Just wanna cum with my boyfriend!!!!
4 comments
(30M) I have the same issue with my antidepressants. I can have sex for hours now, feels great the entire time but I can’t finish. After talking to a doctor I tried psilocybin capsules and it changed everything for me.
It’s common for SSRIs to make it difficult to have an orgasm (anorgasmia). I (M) also think it could just be the lack of sleep or the anxiety itself that makes it difficult to cum. I say that because I went on vacation and I relaxed, didn’t masterbate, slept in, didn’t watch porn and looked at cool stuff everyday. Two weeks right after the vacation, I got my sensitivity back and I was cumming quickly like before. Then I went back to being less sensitive. I was taking my medication the whole time too.
I had the same problem, same drug. I switched to Wellbutrin and my problem is fixed. In your case, see if your doc will prescribe you something similar along with the Zoloft. Wellbutrin acts on the dopamine receptors and has no affect on serotonin which is why it can help with sex dysfunction.
Never knew this. This might be my partners struggle too.