Is that basically like a drill sergeant calling every shot: ‘get into doggy…head down…arch your back more…get louder….alright on your back, spread your legs’ or does the guy just physically move her into positions without the dialogue?
And to what extent is this a feature of regular male/female sex vs mild BDSM? Should a guy expect to take charge in say a one night stand or should he get her confirmation that she’s into that sort of thing?
Also even if they ask for it, something about it leaves me feeling kind of selfish…how can I avoid that feeling?
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My answer to you depends a lot on why you’re asking. Can you clarify?
By asking what “the right way” means to that specific person, IF they want that at all.
You should be having an open conversation as to what your comfortable with and what you expect of him and vice versa.