Was wondering about people’s thoughts on this. I’ve had crushes on people who were unavailable (gay, in a relationship etc). I would try to put myself out there to date others (eg a dating app) but it never seemed to work that well. The guys I’d meet were perfectly nice but my feelings just weren’t there at all (I guess that’s the nature of demisexuality – we need time to experience sexual and romantic attraction). And my mind would be so focused on the person I had a crush on that I just couldn’t get particularly interested in anyone else. I find that I really need to meet people “organically” in order to develop feelings and for a relationship to happen. When I get crushes, they tend to last about a year before they run their course. Sometimes shorter if I’m around them a lot and realise that our personalities aren’t compatible.
So that’s my question. Do you think that there’s any point in trying to date others when you have a crush on someone specific? My take is that it’s good to try to meet new people, knowing that the more people you meet, the more likely it is that you’ll find someone you click with. But for me personally, dating apps just don’t work. Maybe I’ll try them again if I feel really desperate for a relationship. I’m fairly young (24) so I’m not too worried at the moment.
4 comments
Yea if you’re demi I’d say put more effort to finding ppl in person than the apps. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t ever find someone you like on Tinder or such but if it’s not working for you….
I’d say no.
I’ve been in that place before and you wind up wasting the time of the person you’re dating.
I also feel that it’s basically lying to them. You present as available when you’re really not.
It’s best to take time to get over the person you’re interested in before starting anything with anyone else.
Do you know what your attachment style is?
Have you made it known that you are interested in this person?