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Old people can pick up on that kind of stuff and most will cut you slack.
They can be intimidating, because you know they have seen shit.
But its also a blessing.
To set the stage… im a 6 foot 2 40 year old white aspie dude from the south from a time when people thought autism meant you drooled.
I used to take great pleasure in old black people sharing their stories. Here I am… a symbol of what they fought against, and they are sharing their knowledge with me.
Find your thing.. find your mental “niche” that let’s you enjoy their company. Find a way to talk yourself into enjoying it.