How did you learn to become less judgemental?

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1. Stopped judging myself. Judgment is usually based on insecurity, the less harsh you are on yourself the less harsh you are on others. The people that are harsh on others are harsh on themselves

2. Philosophy and economic elective courses in university/college

   The philosophy courses helped the most, as the professors made it mandatory to “argue” our personal beliefs/viewpoints with each other in a “respectful” manner every class. Sometimes we also got assigned to argue a stance that we didn’t believe in.

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5. recognizing that not everyone started from the same place in life.

6. Learn about the things you are judging though books, documentaries, etc. ask questions instead of making assumptions. Get to know people that are different from you.

7. Might sound stupid but, by just not caring enough. I’m too tired dealing with my life to think about/worry about what other people do with theirs.

   If i don’t think about it, I don’t have the energy to judge. I tend to forget things that don’t directly impact my life or the lives of my loved ones. Selfish? Maybe. But this way I don’t have to spend time thinking about, processing and judging other people’s life choices.

8. When I had my own kids and became a parent, I suddenly realized how emotionally taxing it can be. It made me realize most people are just doing the best they can. It helped me forgive an awful lot of people

9. 1. I gained more self confidence with age, and began being kinder and more compassionate to myself. I’m much harsher on other people when I don’t feel good about myself.

   2. I spent more time examining my actions and words. Introspection and asking yourself why you do the things you do helps you better understand why others may do what they do. Example would be- cashier was super rude to me. But if I examine it further, if I was that cashier and I had a family to feed at home and I’m making an awful wage and I have to deal with crappy customers all day, would I be rude or short with people too? Probably.

   3. I tried to imagine what I would do in someone else’s circumstances. If I feel myself judging others based on something within their control, I try to imagine myself with their life and upbringing, then I ask myself if I would act similarly. If I’m judging someone based on something outside of their control, I try to shift my judgement or anger to the system that caused the issue, rather than the person who has to do it. Example would be getting angry at a cashier for not taking a coupon, then realizing that the cashier is following the rules set by the company. I should be angry at the company, not the cashier. Or a coworker not doing their job. I want to say they’re incompetent, but in reality they haven’t been trained appropriately, and they’re overworked, and they have health issues that our insurance doesn’t cover, so yeah, of course they aren’t doing their job right. Or maybe they weren’t raised with compassion or work ethic. So their actions are different than mine.

   Empathy and introspection go a long way in learning how to be less judgmental of others.

10. I had a lot of self-hatred that was the result of judgement. Judgement is taxing. I had to forgive myself first. Training from that point to let go of the judgements as quickly as they come up.

11. I try to understand where someone might be coming from.
    For example, the people who post endless selfies and exceedingly happy social media might just be trying to avoid giving a hater validation of seeing them miserable. People who are hateful might have dealt with trauma in the wrong way. People who are abusive may have been abused. That a-hole that almost ran me off the road tailgating might have had a medical emergency. You just never know, so I like to think of what might have been a justified motivator, vs. just saying “That’s a jerk.” Sometimes I’m wrong and they just are, but I wait for confirmation before passing judgment.

12. Observing others who carried themselves with easy grace and never had a bad word to say about anyone, either within earshot or without. Decided I wanted to model myself on someone like that, not someone spewing vitriol like it was going out of fashion.

13. by trying to understand

    but also by realizing that i can choose to distance myself from something if it causes me discomfort and/or distress even after i’ve tried to understand it

14. I just ask myself how whatever I want to judge affects me (or others, ie small child).

    99% of the time it has no bearing on me or them, and I move on. Otherwise I do what I can to assist in the situation and then move on.

15. I had some really hard times. Homelessness, a few suicide attempts, losing myself in a few abusive relationships, and other things. Those experiences changed me. There are certain things I believed I would never do that I did during the lowest points of my life. At this point, I can empathize with just about everyone. I understand that people do all kinds of things to get by. That doesn’t make wrong actions right, but it does make me think twice before writing people off or assuming the worst of them. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt because I can never fully know their circumstances.

16. I just got too worn down to bother judging. Life is complicated and people don’t need my judgment

17. It’s not my job. I can concentrate on making the best decisions for my life and hope that others do. You never know why someone does something or acts a certain way.