I get asked to go to bars and things but I always refuse since I don’t like the idea. I know it’s the place people my age go to, to meet people and hangout. But I don’t like the idea of a bar. I have never been to one and neither do I drink lots of liquors. But I just don’t think I would be a bar person. So when I hangout out with people and they suggest going to bars I say how about a movie and some food. Is that bad? I don’t have very many friends but nowadays my friends like bars and things but I don’t think I like it. Will I eventually lose my friendships if I refuse to go to the bar with them? I want to keep the friends I do have and maintain a solid connection but I refuse all the time won’t these friendships fail?
4 comments
What? Why? How do you imagine a bar? A bar is not some Mordor full of utterly wasted people randomly starting fights and pissing in each other’s drinks (or at least not necessarily…). Most bars are pretty much like cafés, just primarily serving different stuff.
Well, you’re missing out on a lot of possible social activities based on fear, and that’s not a great way to live your life. You’ve never actually been to a bar so this isn’t about a simple preference.
You don’t need to get drunk if you go to a bar. You can get a single drink and nurse it, or drink a club soda instead. I’d recommend at least trying it out before refusing to go.
For the record, no, you won’t lose all of your friendships if you don’t go to bars, but it sounds like that’s where a lot of your existing friends like to socialize and, yes, you’ll probably miss out on opportunities to get closer with them if you never go. Maybe try finding a bar or lounge that *you* like. Maybe one with a classier vibe and quieter atmosphere. If you still don’t like going then that’s ok, but I’d recommend at least trying it out.
Just try it once. I don’t particularly like bars, but they’re not bad. It’s almost the same as going to a restaurant, except the mood is more relaxed and you can drink as much alcohol as you want (even none, if you want)
I say just go and *talk* to people. You don’t have to get drunk. You don’t even have to have one drink if you don’t want to. How many bars have you actually been to? It doesn’t sound like you have much of an idea what they are like, or maybe you’re thinking of clubs vs bars (though I still personally think it’s fine to go to a club and not drink and just dance or socialize).