I’ve been single for about two years and dating for the last year and a half. I have a great life and would love to find the right person to share it with. Lately, I’ve noticed I’ve started to disassociate on first dates where I’m not feeling a connection. I’m general, I try to be pretty open minded, and know there doesn’t need to be a spark right away and that relationships build. But lately, I’ve been noticing that when I’m meeting someone and not really enjoying the date or connecting with the person, I tend to disassociate – it feels like I leave my body a bit, and I can see my self talking and performing and being friendly, but I feel utterly disconnected from myself there. It’s really unsettling and when the date is over, leaves me feeling lonelier than ever. It feels like this is unhealthy and I don’t know how or why the is is happening, but it’s starting to worry me and make me think something’s wrong with me
TLDR find myself disassociating and feeing not present on dates, what is happening?
10 comments
You’re not that interested in the person you’re with. Or you’re afraid of getting attached again and you’re emotions are telling you not to get involved.
it sounds like you are just not interested and your mind gets bored at that point and sort of shuts off.
high anxiety (nerves are causing you to ‘escape’ the encounter)
try daily meditation, great for reducing anxiety
You’re dating people who bore you.
By what criteria do you choose people for dates?
Disassociation is usually a trauma symptom, but you seem to be getting it when bored, which is unusual. Although maybe you do have some relevant trauma that would make this make sense. Anyhow, it is an issue you can discuss with a therapist.
You are likely jumping deciding right from the beginning weather you are into them or not. Either try to keep you mind in it and try to engage all of yourself.
Or work on really allowing yourself to be willing to date
Therapy can probably help you understand yourself better
Nah I do this too, sis. Don’t feel bad, it’s miserable paying attention to every thing all the time.
dating seems routine, and a compulsion to just go out as you usually do. like its on auto-pilot.
might be as we grow older, doing dates like when people are younger nolonger feel the same.
maturity affects persctive on things.
it would have been good to have found and built a serious relationship. still ,partners with proper persppective in life is not easy to find
To me, it sounds like you’re just not feeling a connection with these people you’re going on dates with. That’s totally normal and it’s not necessarily a problem with you. It’s just that some people aren’t a good fit and that’s okay. Don’t force yourself to try and make a connection if it’s not there. Just move on and keep swiping. You’ll find someone eventually. And if you’re feeling lonely after these dates, maybe try hanging out with some friends or doing something you enjoy to take your mind off of it. Just keep on keepin’ on man.