my ability to talk

I can talk to people, I guess comfortablity comes into play tho. I’ve made friends with people easily esp when the vibe is just there. I can talk to random people but some instances I’m so inept.

I was at a dinner at my gfs cousins house. Gf and I arrived later(when everyone was done eating) in the evening but sat for a solid 2/3 hours there.

I had nothing to say. I had no topics in my mind nor did I find any conversation stimulating. On my left was 4 of my gfs cousins and to my right was my gf (we sat at the end of the table). My gf was with me so usually I just talk with her but she was talking w her cousins(on the right), who were seated behind her on the couches. So for her to interact w them she would face her back towards me. I looked left and tried to listen in on their conversation but I just.. couldn’t. They were talking abt soccer and coaches, I did the occasional laugh when something funny was said, but I just couldn’t bring anything to the conversation my mind was blank. I slowly transitioned to using my phone at the table. scrolling and swiping trying to look busy, then went on insta. I had nothing to do or keep myself busy with and I couldn’t bring myself to conversate with the others. Ig my mind wasn’t there.

Is there something wrong w me lol?

My gf apologized for turning her back to me and I said if u were truly sorry u wouldn’t do that, when she’s at my family Im always there making her feel comfortable. But I didn’t feel comforted in the slightest, yes I’m a guy and there is expectation for me to not need to be comforted but wow it would’ve been nice. I felt excluded. My response to her apology was shit tbf I should’ve accepted it but I just felt so upset abt what happened.

Gf and I got into an altercation cos I went silent when she was talking abt her turning her back on me. I wanted to let her feel how shit I felt. She told me that i excluded myself from conversations and other ppl and that I didn’t put in effort to involve myself. She then highlighted that her main problem with me was that I didn’t communicate to her that I was bothered by something and it bothered her even more when I didn’t talk to her when she wanted to.

Sometimes I can talk and sometimes not. My mind goes blank and I cant share anything sometimes.

idek what advice I’m looking for atm maybe if there are ppl here who experience similar things.

tl;dr: inability to talk sometimes but why