my bf and I (23FM) are doing LDR and he has come to visit for a few weeks. We have been having fights on and off and had one last night. Today i asked him if he wanted to grab lunch during my work lunch break and he said yes. He picked me up in his car and we went to a restaurant nearby and i thought everything was happy and jolly till after he gave the order, he made a serious face and said he needed to talk about something important. He opened his phone notes and proceeded to talk for 10 minutes straight about everything i have been doing wrong or am a poor partner (the content of his points was valid) and he ended with saying he is just not in love with me anymore.
I dont know what happened to me.. i just zoned out and started getting dizzy and had a sinking feeling in my stomach. The food came but i just didnt eat anything. I started crying silently aswell. I felt so embarrassed and ambushed and my social anxiety took a toll aswell. I just told him i want to go home please and the moment we got into the car.. i was sobbing uncontrollably. I dont know what just happened and why my reaction was so extreme. I’m so lost at my own reactions and i dont know what to do or what to say to him
Tldr had a panic attack (?) and just don’t know how to proceed
2 comments
Aside from feeling dizzy, I would say your reaction was perfectly normal.
Personally, I don’t think it’s really fair to break up with someone in public like that unless the person breaking up feels they could be in danger. It’s an upsetting moment! Of course you want to cry! And most people don’t want to make a scene or cry in public. So when you finally are in a more sheltered place (the car) – I think it’s normal that the tears you’ve been holding back would come flooding out.
And yeah – when someone starts telling you terrible stuff like that in public – I also think it’s kinda normal to zone out a bit because you are trying to keep it together and protect yourself.
Feeling dizzy is somewhat abnormal though. Could that have been the hunger?
I think the only thing you need to do now is work on moving on. This relationship was clearly not working – so maybe it was for the best.
So sorry. Having your partner tell you he doesn’t love you any more while reading you a list of your faults is apt to cause anyone anxiety.
Sounds like you’ve experienced an anxiety attack. Many of the symptoms are alike in a panic and anxiety episode-the feeling dizzy, nausea, palpitations, etc.- but a panic attack is usually accompanied by a fear, sense of doom, feeling like you might be having a heart attack. As well as appear for no apparent reason, out of the blue, rather than a reaction to something.
Your reaction is very normal in this distressing circumstance. Wish you the best.