When is it ok to talk about getting serious?

I don’t have much experience with dating, as I grew up as a lesbian in a pretty bible thumping kind of town. I’m still figuring it out now, even since I’ve gotten away from the church and out of the house.

I have this friend(?) who I’ve gone out with a few times. She’s great, sweet, kind, funny and overall someone I would like to have a relationship with. She’s also bi, so there isn’t any doubt that she likes women.

The problem is that I have no idea what is going on with us. She’ll express romantic intentions in private and do things that normally only a couple would do (kissing, holding hands, etc.) but always refers to me as her friend in public.

There’s no sex involved, so it’s not a friends with benefits situation, and she’s not closeted or in a place anymore homophobic than the usual American city. She’s pretty open about her past relationships with women, so I can’t help but wonder if I’m sending mixed signals.

Is it too soon to start talking about our relationship in a more serious way? We’ve been dating for around a month, but been friends for much longer. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with more causal, less serious relationships, but I’m looking for something more long term and I want to be clear about it.