My penis is desensitized.
No matter how turned on I am, I usually finish by taking natters into my own hands no pun intended. But its hard to let folks kno how much you liked it unless you cum on the spot with jerking off. How would I be able to finish hands free?

23 comments

  1. Stop jerking off for a week or two and see if your sensitivity comes back if it doesn’t maybe time to have that awkward conversation with your doctor.

  3. Don’t overthink it when you’re with a partner. Be in the moment and enjoy what you have going!

  4. Sounds like death grip syndrome. Try masturbating less.

    It might also just be how you’re wired though. Some guys are just not able to finish unless they do it themselves.

  5. I have that problem too. I’ve masturbated for 10 years before having sex for the first time, so it’s how my body is used to it. Even someone else’s HJ doesn’t always work if they are too different from how i do it.
    Not masturbating for a long while before sex doesn’t work for me. Some people suggested trying a fleshlight hut i havent done it yet.

    When with a women, either we have PIV then after she came i can finish myself ( or not finish). Or i love masturbating while eating her out. Since i control it and love eating out, i can try to time it close to the same time she’ll come.

  6. Stop choking your chicken so hard. Give it a rest, and lay off the choking for at least a week.

  7. Give it a rest. It needs time. Don’t masturbate and start slowly when you do. Also use lube

  9. I have experienced desensitization as a result of age, not masturbation. The body just changes over time. I think adapting to our body changes is just a normal part of a sex life. Good partners are ones who are willing to accept that.

  11. You might end up needing someone else to control your orgasms for a while. There are many subReddits you can use to explore this topic.

  14. Hey /u/thatbiguy26, did you see the advice? 20 goddam folks telling you to quit cranking it for a week and not a peep out of you by way of response

  15. If you are using porn that also messes with it. Quit that and things will likely get better.

  18. How new is your relationship, how new are you to Sex in general. and are you thinking while having sex. I had the same sorts of issues as you for several months. eventually i found that if i think about nothing other than the present moment, it made life easier. Additionally, some things just take time and practice. Learn what makes you feel good with your partner. maybe expand upon that and keep trying new things. Additionally, Stay hydrated. If it feels as good as you say it does, there is a chance that the muscles re spasming in the correct way, but your too dehydrated to have anything built up.

  19. Anxiety medication,SSRI, can do this to you. Also search for the causes of anorgasmia. If you’re not sleeping well that could be a cause.

  20. Quit watching porn. If you are going to jerk off, imagine something. But try not jerking off for a few weeks and that should work.

  22. A lot of these answers saying don’t masturbate are right, but there also a chance you don’t have to go that far.

    You may have death grip. In this case your body has learned to cum only this one way so that’s the only way you can cum.

    Try just using lube and a looser grip when masturbating, slowly you will build up that sensation and not last long at all! Lol

  23. I have trouble in that area, too, man, and it doesn’t get any better with time off for me. I’ve gone as far as month or three. I’m in my 40s now, and it’s pretty much always been like this for me. In my case, though, there are other contributing factors. Namely, psychiatric medication causes 50% of my problem. The other 50% is the anxiety of not being able to finish and making whichever woman decides I’m tolerable enough to hang out naked with feel bad about it.

    In your case, it probably is just a need to lay off for a while and learn how not to have a death grip. If you’re using porn though, that is likely an even bigger issue. It doesn’t seem like it should be, but it causes us to associate our hands/technique with sexual feelings, but that feeling isn’t going to be replicated.

    As an experiment, you might try and take care of yourself with a condom on and see what happens. That might reduce friction enough to help you get to where you can go hands free

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