How many men would be okay with their wife not working?

45 comments

1. I think it’s okay for maybe 1 or 2 of your wives to work but your 1st wife shouldn’t

2. She makes six figures and my last job paid $40K, so… I’m really not sure we’d be okay at all. I’m not sure I have the resume to support this family at anything resembling our current standard of living.

   In a hypothetical world where I made enough money to go around, I could easily deal with my wife not working, as long as she was doing *something* important and not just watching TV all day.

3. In THIS economy?!

4. My main worry here is her employability after a divorce.

   I need to know that she’s staying with me out of choice, not out of financial necessity. If she becomes almost unemployable as a result of being with me (due to missing 5-10 years of experience which does not track with her age and spooks HR staff), then she’s going to feel a financial incentive not to leave and that is not ok.

   So, would I ever be happy with her not working? Only if she did something that maintained her employability. So, if she “didn’t work” by volunteering in a way that provided that crucial HR-compatible explanation for a CV gap, I’d be ok with that. If she practiced music or dancing to a genuinely professional standard, I’d be ok with that as well.

   But I would not be OK with another adult being financially dependent upon me to that degree. I want to know that she’s with me because she wants to be, not because she has to be.

5. Nope. I’m not here to bankroll somebody else’s life.

   Beyond that, for her own benefit – all women should be financially independent if possible. If a relationship or marriage sours, it’s so much worse if the woman can’t support herself if she leaves and that has to play a role in her decision.

6. Not this one.

7. Was fine with it; am regretting it post-divorce.

8. It be ok

9. Depends, what’s she doing all day?

10. The answers here kinda surprised me, so i guess it depends where you’re from/how you’re raised. Growing up in a traditional, more conservative family, I always expected that my wife would work if she *wanted* to, not because she had to or thought I’d feel like I was being taken advantage of.

11. My goal is to make enough money so my wife doesn’t have to “work”. I picked a career path so she won’t have to worry about paying bills, paying for the spa, or anything like that. She can work at my small business and support my mission. If she wanted to be a full time stay at home mom down the line I’d be cool with it.

12. If my income were to be enough, I’d be ok with her being a housewife.

13. If she didn’t want to work outside the home and focus instead on maintaining the home, raising the family or doing volunteer work, I’d be 100% for it

14. Crazy. As i read this post, my wife is on the phone talking to her friend about this very topic.

15. I tried to convince my wife of a plan that would result in her not having to work anymore. She hates working. The plan would have involved moving 2 hours away, and she didn’t want to be that far away from her family. I’d love to be able to earn enough to support us here but we’re quite expensive people lol gotta have our toys and trips

16. In this economy?

17. If I made enough, of course I’d be OK with it.

18. I am perfectly fine with my wife not working. She stopped when our daughter was born. She takes care of the kid, I take care of the work and we share the household chores.

19. Nope, she has proven that she is not willing to step up domestically.

20. My wife hasn’t had to work since we got married. She pursues her passions, and since we had a child, she does the bulk of raising our kid. If there is no need for us both to work, then why make her do something she doesn’t enjoy for money we don’t need.

21. The wife has to work. If she works as a SAHM or in an outside job is her choice.

22. Depends on the circumstances. If we have kids, I’m all for it provided the finances are there.

    But if she just wants to hang out, absolutely not. My friend had an arrangement like this before they divorced. He also did all the cooking for her.

    I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. He’s in a much healthier relationship now.

23. My wife stays at home currently, we came to the conclusion that if she were to go back to work it would mostly be to cover child care costs for our youngest child. And why would she want to do that when she can just stay home with him?

24. If I could be successful on just my pay she would absolutely be a stay at home

25. I’d be fine with it so long as 1) She wanted to 2) My income was high enough to support our lifestyle 3) We can find a way to set the right expectations for what amount of housework should be done by the person who’s not working a regular job.

    I know point 3 would be the hardest one to overcome. It’s something we already bicker about constantly.

26. I don’t have a wife yet, but if she is keeping the house under control and helping with the kids then I would be fine with it.

27. My wife is disabled and doesn’t work.

28. My wife is a stay at home wife and I love it

29. My wife doesn’t work. I love it.

30. If she wants to work and it’s a safe work environment then that’s fine.

    But definitely prefer if she doesn’t work

31. You mean, sending emails and making spreadsheets for some other man? I actually prefer that she doesn’t. She works very hard to take care of our home and our kids.

32. Dont mind in the relationship ita the divorce that fucks u. They get to force u to work for there benefit after they end the marriage.

33. Was fine with my wife not working a paying job for 8 years. She was home schooling our special needs child.

34. I have 3 kids and i would rather be the stay at home dad. My wife would like to work her early morning shift and becone a manager also she needs to nap after work due to the long day.

    Even with 60 plus hours between us and a wage of 16.35 / hr each we are still using the food bank pushing gas till the bitter end and getting community from our kids school or local churches.

    I would 100% stay home if i was able. But its so stupidly impossible for families.

35. If I find someone willing to be my wife, I kind of expect it once we have kids. Of course, that expectation would be made known up front, so she would also be okay with it.

36. I prefer it…although I wouldn’t mind if I was the one not working. 😉

37. If I earned enough, sure. But even on double my wage (and I do ok for myself), taxes here would make it a bit of a struggle.

    UK.

38. If we could survive reasonably well and that’s what she wanted, I’d be alright with it.

39. I’d love it. She used to stay home. The house was clean, she cooked more, etc. It felt worth it to me!

40. I’m praying that I can be financially stable enough so my wife won’t have to work.

41. 100% fine. My wife didn’t work for 10 years while she looked after my son. Work really stressed her out before our son arrived. I told her she didn’t have to work and she can stay home to avoid the stress. She works a little now, but if she started getting stressed or depressed about it she can stay at home.

42. My wife doesn’t work. But she does just about everything else. It works for us.

43. Have been for 21 years since she was 18

44. My SO has always been okay with me not working. At first it was so I could start homeschooling our daughter who was being badly bullied at school but once that was done I just never went back. Now he comes home to homecooked meals every night and doesn’t have to do any chores, which I think he rather likes.

    Slight disclaimer, I do have passive income as my family had assets that I inherited.

45. Worked well for me for a good while but this was 1990’s when you were appreciated for supporting a partner at home, they in turn appreciated not having to work and yin met yang

    These days I would never entertain a relationship of this type as it’s going to be a constant battle over not doing enough at home on top of a job, her peer group would be validating the shit out of any gripes without ever saying “hold up, all of this doesnt fall from the sky you know, maybe you need to appreciate that sweet deal”

    The narrative would be brutal against any problems I had with my partner not pulling their weight or them wanting more from me

    Therefore: fuck that

    50/50 or close to would be my dealbreaker if I was 30 years younger now