I (19F) want to be more dominant in the bedroom with my boyfriend (18M).

He says that sex is a lot of work and I should try being on top because it would give him a break (My libido is really high and he can’t handle being on top all the time lol).

Cowgirl doesn’t come naturally to me because I have a tighter vagina than usual and I can’t really “pull” up without taking the meat with me 💀💀 if that makes sense. Plus a memory foam mattress and boom soooo difficult.
So, I need some other position that I can try where I do most/all the work.

46 comments

  2. For cowgirl you should experiment with grinding your hips more trying to get your clit to rub against his pubic bone. In my experience it works well for getting off and you don’t have to go in and out. Another variant called lotus could be nice.

    Main other thoughts are throwing it back in doggy or side positions. There’s also Amazon which is the classic dominant position.

  4. As people have mentioned, the amazon position actually completely reverses the “work” load. It’s basically missionary but with the woman on top, but be warned YOU WILL DO ALL THE WORK. All he has to do is lie there.

    I’ve done it once with the gf and it greatly amused us, but after just like 20 seconds she was like “ok, this is tiring”.

  5. Positions have nothing to do with dominance, but it sounds like you’re trying to find ways to bang where you are doing more of the work.

    Try doing reverse cowgirl but with your legs hooked under his. This will make the motion more of a back and forth than up and down and will work on soft surfaces. You can also try to straddle him on a chair or sit down on him with your legs between his.

    Have fun!

  7. A lot of dominance isn’t based on position but attitude and talking. I’ve been dominant with a woman on top where I was grabbing g her throat, or forcing her to stay on top while I was firmly grabbing her hips or aggressively talking dirty. I’ve also had a woman be dominant during missionary or doggy. Slapping or grabbing my ass, using her legs to keep me from pulling out, telling me that she wants that dick and to fuck her harder or to get off of her and eat her pussy until she cums etc.

  9. Amazon position is much more difficult than cowgirl.

    1) I don’t understand the comment about pulling his dick with you. There’s no way your vagina is so tight that you’ll lift his body off the bed. So pulling his dick with you isn’t an issue. Lift yourself higher to pull it out more. Then sit back on it. Rinse. Repeat.

    2) the memory foam mattress is difficult for him as well. That’s why he’s asking you to do more work

    So I’d suggest practicing cowgirl more often. You can also push your butt back while you guys are doing doggy style. You guys can lay in a spooning position and you can participate that way by moving your hips back and forth. You can also plant your feet on the bed during missionary and move your hips to help him penetrate. You can actually fuck him while you’re in missionary position as well. He doesn’t need to move.

    Majority of the “male dominated” positions can be reversed to where the woman is doing the movement.

    It doesn’t sound like he’s asking you to be more dominant. It sounds like he’s asking you to participate more. So he’s not doing most of the work.

    With cowgirl, you can try to grind instead of bounce. That might be easier. You can also lay your body completely on top of his and only move your hips up and down so it’s less tiring.

  10. I’m far too tight if I’m being honest. Think “light” tampons and those are still too big and are uncomfortable because I’m that tight.

    But after 6 years I still find cowgirl to be the best position for me to get off.
    The issue you have is likely the mattress. I’ve found that softer mattresses don’t support how your knees need to be positioned and makes it mildly uncomfortable and difficult to maneuver.

    Try the couch or a hotel room bed and see if the difference in the mattress helps

  11. This is a variant of reverse cowgirl- Just thought I’d mention, since it is different than standard on the bed cowgirl. my wife and I will do several different positions (mostly standing/use with caution/haha!) in the Hot, steamy shower sometimes, and our shower (all tile) has a built in shower / spa seat. Sometimes I’ll sit and my wife will usually do cowgirl on me, but sometimes she’ll do reverse cowgirl on me, which with my back to the shower wall is an upright seated position. It’s oddly sexy and dirty to me because we’re not facing each other. My wife is facing away from me but the view of her back and her butt is just out of this world. And she loves being in total command of speed, etc. Sounds like you’d need to use alot more lube if you tried this, and alot of showers don’t have a spa seat built in them. But it can actually be super hot because a) it’s so wet and steamy in there, and b) my wife can totally control depth and speed and she can feel me starting to cum really easily from that angle. And added benefit it just feels naughty too because she’s totally in command and the looking away from me thing is just a different dimension. We do this position rarely, but it’s definitely hot. And just in general, anything in the shower is just super hot to us. So shiny and wet. We use a ton of lube when we’re getting busy in the shower.

  12. I’ve a memory foam mattress and cowgirl is one of my favourite positions.

    I don’t bounce up and down, it’s a grinding forwards/backwards motion. Push your knees out away from his body, and work those hips! It’s all in the hips doing it this way. Try not to move your knees at all. It will feel like you’re barely moving but as you develop that technique it should feel awesome.

    Have him propped up on pillows as well, the incline there can make a difference too. I believe this feels very deep and intimate and it’s, in my opinion, the least tiring way to be on top.

    All in the hips.

  13. Sit on his face lovely, sort of stuff his face and ‘take’ it all from him.

    Wear a t-shirt and matching thigh high socks and grind your pussy and ass all over his tongue 😍

  15. Me and my fiance got a memory foam topper a while ago and what helps me with cowgirl is being by the edge of the bed so I can have one foot on the floor for some extra stability/ leverage/ whatever you want to call it. Plus it helps make it easier and less tiring.

  17. Boyfriend, 18yo says “Sex is a lot of work” 🤦🏻‍♂️ I think I’m too old for this shit

  18. You can always still do doggy, but you push yourself back and just let him stand or be on his knees up right! Still control and a great view for him 😏

  20. My wife likes being the little spoon, on our sides, and she uses her vibrator and moves her hips however it feels good with me inside. Usually I use my top leg to spread hers open and I pitch in with thrusting when I feel like it 🙂 you can substitute his hand for the vibrator if you don’t want to use one

  22. Change the angle up. You can actually do quite a few different angles/variations in cowgirl- bouncing, leaning over, twerking, grinding, etc. You just need to experiment more.

  23. What about doggy style with him leaning back on his hands so he is kind of a triangle and you backing back onto him? That is so hot when my wife has done it in the past.

    What about being more dominant/assertive/putting in the work outside the bedroom? Take control in a different room when he is least expecting it. Even having him do missionary when you jump his bones is super hot. Standing in the kitchen pushing back on him would probably blow his mind. Or just walk in there in a skirt and tease him a little before going over and pulling his pants down while he is sitting on a chair in the dining room and ride him in the chair.

    Ok, so I just made up a couple more fantasies for myself, lol.

  29. K someone explain Amazon position. I Google it and get Amazon job positions. Is it just girl on top?

  30. Do it on the couch or chair, him sitting, you on top, could standing, squatting, be on your knees, faced against him or not. Also buy some sex pillows.
    Or he’s laying on the bed, I don’t know what this pose is called but you go on top, lean back with your legs open like a spider lol, your hands on his legs behind you, giving him a great view on your pussy.

  32. I have my partner lay on his back on the floor (hard surface) and I get flat on my feet in a squatting position and ride him like that. He absolutely loves it. I will say I’m fit so this position isn’t as tiring for me but it’s definitely a leg work out. Grinding movements lack stimulation for your guy.

  33. Even missionary can be extremely dominant. Domming isn’t about anything physical (although it will help with the immersion), domming is about being in control. So if you lay down on your back, command him to come over and dictate exactly how *he will pleasure you* (note the dynamic!) and if you kind of talk him through it (what you want him to do, how you want him to be, when and where you want him to finish etc) and think of him as a toy, then that’s already you being dominant.

    Men can lift up women and pin then down and do all kinds of primal dom stuff. As a woman play to your strengths! 🙂

    It helps if you know what he’s into. Then just play on that. If it’s your first time, google a list of BDSM kinks and tick off the ones he thinks would be fun to submit to and then take it from there.

  36. Try grinding on him instead of pulling yourself up. It’s way less work esp with memory foam!

  37. I like to do it doggy but I don’t thrust, make her do it if she wants it. I couple it with some dirty talk. I also do doggy where I am doing the work.

  40. Get out of bed. Get on the floor and ride him. Grind your hips and slide back and forth on the “meat,” as you say.

  41. As an older guy. Couch. Eye contact. Tell him to keep his hands at his sides and you control the show. Sit on lap and ride. Cowgirl. And you can transition him into other positions.

  43. I’m late and I think lots of people have named positions but I’d say there are ways to be dominant and take on some of the workload in lots of positions and you should think about that. Pulling him into you in missionary. Putting him against a wall and pushing back into him in doggie.

    I’d say he’s probably feeling like it’s work because you’re not active enough. Even in situations where I may be doing a lot, if my partner is active as well, I feel much more energized.

  45. I think that being dominant is less about position and more about attitude. You could do cowgirl with minimal legwork, but push him down with your hands, a forearm across his chest to hold him down while you grind.

    Or find whatever is your most comfortable position, but tell him what to do. If he doesn’t do that, or starts to take over, out comes the sexy “punishment”.

    Push him back onto the couch or the edge of the bed and sit on him.

    Face sitting.

    Giving a blowjob can be dominant too depending on how you work it. Stop him from thrusting, or tell him he can’t touch you, tell him the dick is your dick, not his, etc.

    You control when he comes. If he’s getting close slow down or even stop stimulation.

    And so on!

  46. The site is blocked in my country but look at liberator.com and look at their sex cushions and some of them have explicit and/or non-explicit videos showing positions that can be done with the different styles.

    I own a few Liberator cushions but unfortunately I am in a very dead bedroom and the cushions have been stored away for years now–alk brand new and unused.

    There is also this product:

    https://a.co/d/9jNUY9f

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