Say you start dating someone. Things are going great, you like them, sex and communication is great, there is consistency, etc.
Around date 3 or 4, you are asked “So are you seeing anyone else?”
I need some help with this. I want my response to convey the following:
1. I am dating.
2. My agenda is to narrow it down to one person.
3. I really like you and I’m rooting for us.
Trying to display that I’m very aware of what I bring to the table and my standards without sounding cocky / making them feel low priority.
Please guide me towards a succinct and crisp response. Thanks.
PS Initially I used to say something like “I want my lawyer” or “You can be my favorite” but these are inconclusive answers and scream toxic lol
8 comments
You can tell her hey I am enjoying myself with you. What are your intentions for us? Are you looking to be exclusive in your next relationship? Then listen to her response to see if it aligns with your expectations. If it doesn’t, then you should date other people.
Go with the truth. “I am dating…” just like you listed for us
#3 is a huge turnoff. Do not say that. “You can be my favorite,” don’t ever say this either. If you think so little of people that you want them competing for you, I’d be out so fast. Getting the ick strongly here.
Also, anyone you’re sleeping with deserves to know you are risking their health by sleeping with others. They should have all of the info so they can make an informed decision whether to sleep with you.
I’m seeing you and I like what I see
The issue with your 3 points is that it’s conflicting/confusing for the other person, let’s name him Jim. On the one hand, you want to convey to Jim that yes you are dating around. On the other hand, you want to convey that you don’t want to stop dating Jim since it could possible lead to something more serious.
In other words, you want to keep Jim along unless something more serious forms with someone else, and then you’ll drop Jim.
The issue is you are trying to sort of be underhanded about your response so as to not scare Jim off. Stick with the truth because it benefits you the most, and not just because of something silly such as morality. I’d respond with “yeah I’m dating around” and that’s it.
Just be honest. What do you mean by you’re dating? Like have been on some other dates recently or are actively spending lots of time/sleeping with other people? Tell the truth. “I’ve been on some other dates recently but nothings really worked out. I really like you and would love to keep seeing you.” Might be a start. You don’t have to tell her every detail.
They want to know if you’re sleeping with other people. You are. Tell them.
Tell the person, “I’m dating other people.” That’s it. You don’t need to say that you’re hoping things work out because you’ll be telling that to the other people you date and that’s not right—gives them false hope if they really like you.